death's seen a double bed » joetrick

[13] Just Like Kisses on the Necks of 'Best Friends'

[September 2001]

"I think we all know what went down at the end of last year," the principal began his speech, adjusting his tie for the fifteenth time with his big, sweaty hands. It must've been hard on him, thinking that he let one of his own students be bullied by half of the school. It must've been hard knowing that he allowed that to happen right under his eyes. He did nothing, just like everyone else.

The crowd was silent, except a few guys, some familiar faces. Some of the guys who harassed Andy and Patrick. Yet another reason I wasn't excited at all to continue going to this godforsaken school. I clenched my fists around the border of the bench, but after a few moments of feeling my fingers going numb, I calmed down. If I were to follow Chris' advice, I should be the smart guy, not the one who takes every chance to throw a punch.

Psychological bullshit that is probably repeated to every person with mild anger issues, but I did want to avoid things like this. I wanted to avoid this entire city, actually, and move back to Florida or Ohio, but honestly, I felt no thrill when I thought about the swamps or bearing my family's shit. I also tried to convince Mom to let me move to another school, but all I got was an uninterested "You'll get over it, Joseph."

Fortunately, it seems that I wasn't the only one that was completely fed up as the principal continued his speech. Yet another person that hated me with a burning passion, Patrick Martin Stumph was right there, in the crowd, on the brink of punching someone in the jaw between the sessions of blinking repeatedly to hold back a wall of tears.

I wasn't expecting to ever see him step in this school again.

Actually, I wasn't expecting to ever see him again, but there he was; standing in the middle of the crowd of students as the principal finally went back to his usual speech for the opening ceremony of senior year. And, suddenly, all of the things I had planned ahead to say if I would've ever had the chance to look directly into his eyes, were gone. We haven't spoken to each other ever since he left. Not a single word since he told me that he would've rather had me dead than Andy. Not a single word since I fucked everything up. For the rest of summer, all I knew about him was that he was on a tour across Canada with his dad.

He changed over the summer more than I thought anyone could. Patrick was almost unrecognizable when our eyes met from across the gym.

Patrick's lips parted when he realised who he was looking at, but instead of smiling and waving at me (because that was the most Patrick thing one could do), he held my gaze with a blank face. Though the rest of his face was completely inexpressive, there was an unusual darkness in his eyes, one that I got to see only once in my life before, when he untied the noose around Andy's neck.

Speaking of his face- he looked like he lost a shitload of weight. His skin was almost bloodless and his hair was cropped and messy; his sideburns were completely gone.

But then Patrick's attention diverted quickly to something else, disrupting the invisible connection that formed between us in those few seconds in which I got the chance of looking directly into his eyes for the first time in what felt like forever. My knees were trembling, and the peculiar feeling of having the air sucked out of your lungs settled in when Patrick made his way through the crowd and disappeared by passing the back doors of the high school.

I didn't realise for how long I was staring into the void until everyone started moving towards the door too and going to their classes. My bag's strap almost broke as I swung it around my shoulder and snatched the schedule out of it. I could consider myself the luckiest man in the world if I had any classes with Patrick this year, but I doubt that he wouldn't have done anything now, only to avoid me as much as possible.