Don't Try To Stop Me - Sequel to 'Trust Is Everything'

Chapter Four

The next morning it was a 5am start for me and the team. The Supersport 1000 was today. I walked into our main tent to see my head mechanic, Jack, lying on his back beside the bike, screwing in the engine frame.
"How's she looking?" I asked.
Jack looked up from his work,
"She's looking good, everything else is set. Just let me get this engine frame fitted then she's ready to run." He replied.
I nodded in approval before exiting the tent.

I never spent as much time with my team as other racers do. I prefer to just let them do their job, I don't need to observe their every move. I'm paying them to get everything done and to do it right, which means I shouldn't have any doubt in my mind that that bike is going to break down in the middle of a race. I walked aimlessly around the grounds. I observed the track from a distance, going over in my head what I was going to do in each corner. But I knew I was lying to myself. I wasn't looking at the track, I was looking for that girl. Since we locked eyes yesterday, I couldn't get her out of my head. For some reason I wanted to see her again, get the chance to actually talk to her this time. This was strange for me, I never let girls get in my head especially when it comes to racing, I wasn't all that interested in them. But this one was different, she was different.

After signing my name into the second race of the week, I returned to the tent to find the old black Suzuki 1000 looking as good as new and ready to race. Just then, a man's voice came over the speakers to tell racers to line up for the Supersport.
"That's our call." I said, pulling on my helmet and swinging myself over to sit on the bike. Jack gave me a push off and I made my way down to the grid.

-

I didn't do great in the Supersport, finishing 3rd after being in 5th place on the grid. It was still enough to get me on the podium but I felt very little satisfaction.

If I disappoint myself in a race, the team know to keep their distance for a few hours. In the truck, I sat on the little sofa that was beside the make-do kitchen, just below the bed. I sat there for a long time, going over the race in my head, trying to piece together what made me come 3rd instead of 1st. I couldn't put my finger on it, which just annoyed me even more. How was I supposed to win the big race tomorrow if I don't know what I did wrong today? I pulled out a cigarette and held the lighter up to my face. Then I paused. I knew better than to smoke in Farquhar's good truck. I stepped outside, sat down on the top fold-down step that was attached to the truck's little side door, and lit the cigarette. I took a breath of the black smoke and closed my eyes as I blew the remainders out. Just then, I heard a female voice.

"Whoa, that's a bit of a turn off." The voice said.

I opened my eyes to see a tall blonde girl, no older than me, standing in front of me. It was the girl that I nearly pushed over! I cleared my throat,

"It helps the stress." I replied, looking straight ahead, not making eye contact.

"Yeah I'm sure it's hard running all this yourself." She said.
I tried to act uninterested,

"You want something signed or what?" I asked, unintentionally abrupt.
She paused awkwardly,

"No no...I just...wanted to talk." She said.
I was surprised, there was no fangirling, no invasion of personal space or crazy questions. She just stood there innocently. I felt guilty for not making eye contact this whole time, so I looked up into her eyes and I realised she had the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen. As a result, it took me a minute to get the words out,

"Sure. What would you like to talk about?" I managed to say.

"I don't really know. It's just...I was always told that you were self-centred and thought that you never needed anyone's help and you were always determined to get your way no matter who you hurt to get it. But I never believed that. From the first second I saw you on tv, I knew you weren't really like that. It was just a show you put on." She said.
I thought about it for a moment,

"Well then what do you think I'm like?" I asked.
She hid a shy smile before she spoke,

"I think you're scared. You're scared that if you don't become the best, you'll not leave a mark on the world, that no one will remember you for being one of the best racers in history. And to hide the pain of that thought, you build up this cold barrier around yourself that makes you not give a crap about anything or anyone else but yourself. And as a result, you lose so many people. Some maybe family members, others just old mechanics or entire teams. No one knows the real you."

I didn't say anything. I just sat there, staring at the concrete now. She was the first to speak,

"Well I'm guessing you've never heard that before and you'll probably be rather angry with me once everything sinks in but I know it won't be the real you that's angry, it'll be the barrier talking." She smiled warmly as she turned and walked away.
I stomped my cigarette out and climbed back into the truck, irritated. I wasn't totally annoyed at her for saying all that stuff, I was just angry because...it was all true.