1/27/00

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Today I lost it in class. Everybody looked at me like instead of a human I was some disgusting alien. That was the worst feeling; walking out.

Ms. Green was making each one of us present our projects on Shakespeare. And finally it was my turn and I walked up to the front of the classroom. When I showed them my project everybody started laughing.

I don't know what came over me, but the voice in my head began getting angry. It kept telling me bad things, and so of course I argued.

I guess at one point I broke down on the floor, and that's when Ms. Green made me get up, and walk to the nurse.

It was all the kids in my classes reactions that hurt the most. They were all whispering mean things about me, their eyes trained on me the whole time. They didn't even have to say anything, I could read their minds.

I'm a freak, and now my class has seen it.

Mom and dad talked with my therapist and now I'll be homeschooled. Honestly my parents expected me to be happy about it. But it makes me feel even less normal than before.

Maybe this life thing isn't for me. I mean it's apparent that something isn't right in my brain.

I don't know maybe I should just stop.

Stop caring. Stop trying. Stop crying.

And then stop breathing.

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Slowly but surely I will republish this

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