Afraid to Fall ▷ Stilinski

Chapter 11. I'm Her Peeta and She's My Katniss

Just a heads up, this chapter has some MAJOR spoilers from the first book in The Hunger Games Series. That is a huge part of this book after all, the parallels that I try to make between Stiles / Kennedy and Peeta / Katniss. I wanted to give you a heads up now before you read it and got a hold of some information that you didn't want to know just yet!

KENNEDY'S POV

After being told off by Mr. Harris about my grade in his class, nearly being mauled by a mountain lion, and witnessing Mr. Argent hide a gun in his jacket-- I was more than ready to go home. A hot, relaxing shower sounded wonderful right now-- and then after that shower I can read The Hunger Games or watch The Dark Knight that I had borrowed from Stiles.

During that entire shopping trip yesterday, we didn't talk all that much about The Dark Knight. In fact, I had pretty much talked the entire time about myself. Stiles was silent as he listened intently to every single thing I had to say. Although, now that I think about it-- he didn't seem all that surprised with my answers. It's like he knew almost everything about me already. I don't know how he would know all of those things about me, unless he's just paid really good attention to me whenever I've said something in class.

I felt like a total bitch when I didn't acknowledge the fact that he had said he was with his mom when she passed away. I didn't even know that his mom died, unlike when I moved here with the reputation of having a dead parent already looming over me like a dark cloud, Stiles had managed to keep that hidden from the school. I didn't ask how she died, I didn't tell him that I was sorry for his loss, I didn't do anything. I just stood there and held onto him as if my life depended on it.

To be honest, hugging him was about as perfect as a hug could get. I don't hug a lot of people, I mean I'm not a hug-whore or anything, but when Stiles was holding me I felt this sense of security that I've never felt before. It scared the hell out of me. I shouldn't feel that way from a hug from a newly found friend.

After my relaxing forty minute shower, I slipped into some pajamas and curled up in my bed with The Hunger Games, desperately wanting to read about Everlark and their epic love story. I would love more than anything to have a guy love me as much as Peeta loves Katniss. Everything he does is for her, he is willing to die for her-- he almost does die for her, several times to be exact, but he doesn't care because it wasn't Katniss that almost died, and her safety is all he cares about. My eyes scan the pages of the worn paperback, certain snippets of conversation and internal monologue from Katniss are imprinted at the forefront of my mind.

"You have a... remarkable memory," I say haltingly. "I remember everything about you," says Peeta, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "You're the one who wasn't paying attention."

"I am now," I say.

"Well, I don't have much competition here," he says. I want to draw away, to close those shutters again, but I know I can't. It's as if I can hear Haymitch whispering in my ear, "Say it! Say it!"

I swallow hard and get the words out. "You don't have much competition anywhere." And this time, it's me who leans in.

It's sad, how desperate I am to have a boy say these things to me. To have a boy that has feelings for Kennedy Martin for being Kennedy Martin, not for being Lydia Martin's "hot" cousin. I want someone to notice something small about me, and then fall in love with me because of it. Exactly the way that Peeta fell for Katniss when he heard her sing for the first time on the first day of school when they were five. He remembered the red plaid dress she was wearing and how her hair was in two braids instead of her signature single braid. He knew he was a goner that very second.