Alice on the Outside-in

Part 2

By the time I stood up on my two feet, I was alone. Except for some muffled voices ahead.

"Stop pushing!"

"If I knew what I was pushing, I wouldn't push, now would I?"

I walked towards the voices, curious of their sound, still wondering how I got here and more importantly, how to get out. From the darkness emerged a large closed box and I gave a little yelp when it moved due to some force from inside.

"Hey, did you hear that?"

"No, I didn't."

"There was a noise."

The box has two distinctively different voices inside. I crept forward and put my ear to it. Perhaps whoever was in the box could tell me where I was.

"No, there wasn't."

"Yes, there was. Outside. Outside the box."

"There is no outside!"

Whoever they were, they argued a lot. I decided to ask them for help.

"Excuse me?"

Silence. The box didn't move for what seemed ages.

"Hello?" I asked.

"There! There it was again!"

"No, it wasn't!"

"Yes, it was! It said 'excuse me' and then 'hello'. There's someone outside."

"There is no outside!"

I decided to try once again. One of the two voices sounded like they were listening.

"Err, excuse me, inhabitants of this box, can you help me? I seem to have fallen into my..erm...this place and I was wondering if...?"

"See? See? I was right! There's someone out there!"

"There is no one 'out there'! There is no 'out there'! There is no outside!"

Was I winning? I continued.

"Well, I'm telling you, whoever you are in this box, that I'm standing here, speaking to you from outside and..."

"See? See? Now do you believe me?"

"I refuse to believe in such twaddle. There is no outside and there is definitely no one speaking outside because...there is no outside!"

The second voice shook the box with its last exclamation and a scuffle ensued inside. I stepped back to let it settle and after a while it did.

"Err, hello? I'm still here."

"No, you are not! You are not 'here'! There is no outside...!"

The first voice interrupted the second.

"But you just used 'you', signifying that you had in fact actually confirmed that there was someone outside to address, informally too, I might add, and so destroying your own strongly held belief that there is no outside ..."

"...semantics, pure semantics!"

This was getting to be irritating. They either helped me or not.

"Well, I don't really care what you believe, voices in this here box. I'd just like to know how I can get out of here and find my Bunny."

"She...because I assume from the feminine tone of the voice that this person has that they are female...she wants to know how to get out of here, and she's not even in a box," said the first voice. "And she mentioned a bunny."

"There is no one outside! There is no outside! I have no conceptual perception of this box that you refer to! Or a bunny!" screamed the second.

This was hopeless.

"If you ever do find your way out of the box, then please..."

"What box? There is no box! There is no one speaking! There is no outside!"

"...then please help me find my Bunny. Thank you. I'm heading off in...this direction, if you ever..."

"There is no direction!"

"There must be one! Outside!"

"There is no outside!"

I left the box to argue and leap around to its own devices and followed a strange melodic humming which had started a few moments ago. It somehow pleased me and drew me closer. Deeper into the darkness, I came across another box, smaller, one which had a...worm on top?

"Urgh! A worm!"

"Yuck, a human!"

We both cringed from disgust and slowly accepted what lay before our eyes, moving back into each others' sight.

"Are you a worm?"

"I am the Winchester worm, little girl, if you are in fact a girl. It is so hard to tell nowadays, the way they speak and dress."

"I'm a girl."

"Boy or girl, you must be mad to come here."

"Mad? Where am I?" There were no distinguishing features throughout the place, an empty dark cave of nothingness, except for boxes, some with voices inside.

"Where do you think you are?" asked the worm.

"In my sister's laptop?"

"Yes, you are mad."

"Who are you to call me mad? You're a...a worm!"

"Exactly. See, you're quite mad. And by the way, who might you be, you repulsive little girl?"

"Alice."

"A lice? Wonderful. I saw a few scurrying by some time ago."

"No, Alice. Alice."

"I know, I know. Are you looking for something?"

"My Bunny. He ran off somewhere holding his mobile phone."

"A bunny with a mobile phone? You are so very mad."

"Stop it! I am not mad!"

"Now you are. Look, there's only one place your 'bunny' would go, and that's the main processor. That's where we all go, you know. Eventually."

"And where's that?"

"Does it matter? Choose, there are many ways to get there. In that direction you'll find an obsolete checker. In that direction there is a discarded cleaner. They're both completely mad, you'll get on well together."

"But where is my Bunny?"

"Where he wants to be."

Theworm smiled and vanished before my eyes, with its lipless smile disappearinglast..msguO