I was happy with her... My little Alicia, but one day things changed... She had a secret, and a mystery lucks beneath the lies. I will figure it all out with or without phils help... But what will happen could this change our life's?..
Credit to @sm...
It's been 2 weeks! Really? I feels like it's been years I haven't left my room in 2 weeks then, wow
This is hard
Ugh, still I'm alive unlike Alicia Don't go there Dan, stop it, stop thinking about her!
Anyway it's been 2 weeks and my phone has not stopped going off from messages and calls from 'worried' friends and family I bet non of them even care, they most probably just calling for the sake of it. I've gotten calls and messages from... Zoe, Alfie, joe, Pj, Chris, Louise, Joey, Cat, Tyler, Felix, martsia and a few others and my family I've ignored them all... They act as if they care about me but they don't no one does!
Apart from Phil... Normally he would come and bring me food everyday just to make sure I'm eating. He's sweet.
***November 20th**** Pj came over today, he came and sat with Phil while I stayed in my bedroom like I have for the past weeks, at one point I could hear Phil sobbing then I could hear Pj yelling he sounded excited about somethings but I couldn't hear what about, I think it was just something Phil said, I don't know...
Later on that day Pj came into my room... I looked at him embarrassed because I had tears running down my face Pj came and sat on my bed next to be he hugged me. He started to talk to me, "Dan?" He said entertaining my room All i could do was look at him and hold back my sobs "Dan, what has happened to you?!" He entires even more and comes and sits next to me I say nothing "Dan! Snap out of it!" He says starting to get annoyed with me "you're just sitting here feeling sorry for yourself when you have friends and family out there worrying about you, I understand she was your girlfriend but SHE WAS GOING TO KILL YOU, you need to LET HER GO" "Fuck off Pj, Like you care and YOU don't understand NO ONE DOES!" I say furiously I start to cry again I couldn't hold it back anymore Pj pulls me in and hugs me as a friend "Dan, oh I'm sorry, but seriously you need to let her go okay so I might not understand but Dan she was going to kill you, it was ever you or her" I start to cry even more "I know" I say sobbing " I-I-I just can't bring myself to let her go I just can't"
After a few hours late Pj leaves I thought about everything he said later that day and I decided that I do need to let her go and I need to get back to my old self, so later on that day I started to leave my room Phil seamed happy with my decision.
***November 28th*** I spoke to Phil about Pinof. We filmed it, I was hard to keep smiling and laughing I really tried as I haven't made a video in so long and I don't want any of my fans feeling bad or worried about me, A few times I had to look away from the camera because my eyes would start to water or I would just start to get really lost in thought, I look terrible though I had bags under my eyes and messy unwashed hair and I was wearing my pjs.
***1 month after she died*** I walked into the kitchen one day and Phil was standing there "Hey Dan" he said "Oh hi" I say still not comfortable with being around people "You know I'm here for you right? I can't bear seeing you like this. You can talk to me. "I'm fine.." I say to him even thought I wasn't and I knew he knew I hasn't "No your not" he hissed at me "....I could have died Phil..." I say as it was the first thing that entered my head "I know.." He says Just then I broke down I couldn't control it tears rolled down my face like a river and I was sobbing like a little baby until Phil pulls me in to a hug he rapped his arms around me pulling me into his huggable body he calms me down "Thanks Phil I-I needed that"
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