-Amanda's P.O.V-
The ride to the arena was awkard and none of us said a word. "Hold my hand, and don't release it until we're in. Don't answer the questions either, and everything will be okey'' Justin told me before he opened the door and walked out while he held my hand. People started screaming & running and the paps kept following. Thank God for Kenny right now..After a minute or so, we were safely inside the building. Justin led me to the scene and memories from the concert came back. I felt like I could see myself standing in the middle of the growd, crying of happiness when Justin started to fly over us with the wings.
I sat in the audience, and while Justin had his soundcheck, the rest of the crew started to arrive the arena. One by one they came in and walked backstage. I taught I was going to faint when I saw Carlena and Nick, and I needed to pinch myself in the arm to check if this was real life. I don't think they saw me, or maybe they ignored me 'cause none of them offered a simple ''hello'' or something..Well I ain't blame them. I mean, who wants to talk to someone like me? I don't even know why Justin wanted me to be with him. He should be catched with beautiful peoples, people who aren't me. You can describe me with three words: fat, ugly and fat. that's what I am. When Justin was finish with his souncheck, the dancers came to the stage. "EY JUSTIN, I DIDN'T KNEW YOU HAD A NEW GIRL IN SIGHT" Nick shouted from the other side of stage. Ouuuch I can tell Justin's face turned a little bit red while he shouted back "She's isn't my girlfriend Nick! She fainted outside of my hotel, so I brought her with me. I was just trying to be nice" ouch #2
When we sat backstage the only thing I could think about was if I should tell him how much I appreciate the work he have done. The time kept going, and I decided that it was now or never. You will not have this chance tomorrow I told my self. "Justin?" I asked shyly. "Yeah, what is it sweetie?" OMG DID HE JUST SAY THAT? Calm the fuck down Amanda, he is just a normal boy I told myself once again. "I just wanted to tell you how much i appreciate the work you have done for everyone. You are a fantastic person with a good heart. I know that, even tough I don't know you in reality.. I know life can be rough sometimes and you maybe want to give up, but always remember that no matter what happens the real beliebers will always stay by your side, fighting with you" I said as I took a deep breath.
-Justin's P.O.V-
I could feel my cheeks getting warm when she said that. I didn't know how to answer, so I just pulled her into a hug. It's beliebers like her I love. Beliebers who dosen't believe all those rumors and bullshit the paps come's out with, and beliebers I know I can trust. I could see in her eyes that she meant it, but what I also saw, was a person in pain. Something about her made me so curious and I didn't know what it was. I wanted to know more about her.
-Amanda's P.O.V-
As I said earlier, Justin and I were just chilling backstage, playing ping-pong and Iphonegames when Scooter came in. I started to panic. This was the man who found Justin, the man who gave him the chance to be one of the biggest popsensations and gave him the chance to show his talent to the world! I felt speechless, no I WAS speechless. "Emmh, Justin? Is this the girl Kenny told me 'bout?" he asked looking down at him. "Yeah" Justin said and put his arm around me. "If it's okey for you I will like to have her with me backstage tonight. It's actually the least thing I can do for her." Why did he say that? I haven't done anything for him? But it was sweet though! "Was that even a question, JB?" Scooter laughed before he continiued "Well, I have to go now.. But have fun you two! And Justin; remember to eat before the concert! The food is in the room to the left." Scooter told him.
"well.. so you heard him.. What do you want to eat?" Justin giggled to me.
"He said you, not me" I tried.
"You have to eat you too. You haven't eaten since the morning!" well fuck.
"I'm not hungry, now go eat and I'll wait here or something" I said with a smirk on my face.
"Don't lie to me.. You are going to faint again if you don't eat something soon, and we won't let that happening again, do we?" He said with a small smile on his face. Well I will rather faint again then eat, and it's no choice that I'm going to tell him about my eating disorder. I guess I just have to? A little salad can not hurt?
"Okey fine. I'll take a little salad"
I swear that this was the worst meal I've ever eaten and the thoughs about throwing up came back. Justin was in the middle of Believe and I felt like a crap. I didn't deserve to be here with him, it should have been someone else. The whole crew was in the audience to watch the show except Ryan Good. Ryan was in the dressingroom and I saw this as an opportunity and ran to the toilet.
-Justin's P.O.V-
The Norwegian beliebers were really loud! The show was going really good and I was finish with Believe. I ran backstage to change and pee, while Ryan was at the screen on the scene. When I came backstage I could hear some strange noises, noises of someone throwing up. I walked noiselessly to the toilet to see what's happening.
-Amanda's P.O.V-
"What's happening?" Justin ran to me and held my hair as I throwed up the salad.
"I I'm fine. It It must have been something in the salad" I said and grabbed the water Justin gave me.
"Are you sure you are okey?? I ate a little salad to, but I'm not sick?" shiiiit what am I going to say??
"JUSTIN, GET OUT ON THE SCENE!" Scooter shouted to him. Oooh nice safe
After the concert Justin insisted to drive me home. I told him that I could take the bus like everyone else, but he didn't listen.
"Alright Justin. You have 3 minutes on you, before you gotta go!" Kenny told Justin, when he followed me to my door. What a gentleman he is.
"Thanks for today.. I have no words to describe how thankful I am!" I said to Justin when we were standing outside of my house.
"It's nothing to thank for.. I had a lot of fun today. I would love to meet you again, for honestly I've never met someone like you before. I dunno why, but something about you makes me curious..May I please have your number?" Justin said and held his mobile out. I have no words. How can he say that? He haven't met someone like me before because I'm fucking fat and ugly. He is just meeting wonderful girls every day, therefor it's not weird that he hasn't.
"I'm not sure about the first part of what you just said, but yeah you can get my number!" I said while I typed my number on his phone.
"I gotta go.. But again, thanks for today" He said and gave me a hug. He smells so damn good!!!!
"yeah.. bye!"
I went straight into my room and jumped in my bed. I burst out crying and I didn't even know why. I met my idol and I got the chance to hang with him for one day and I'm SAD???? I ripped my clothes of and walked to my mirror. The tears poured down even more. Why do I have to live in this body, why can't I be like everybody else? I walked to my bathroom and found the razorblade. Seconds later I could see blood hit the floor. Why am I so fucked up? I'm sure Justin just wanted to hang out with me so he could make fun of me to the others. I washed the blood of my body and the floor, brushed my teeth and removed my makeup. I went to bed again. I kept thinking about my fat body. It was weird..'cause I could feel every bone in my body, but still I feel fat inside. Everything is so fucked up. Before I fell asleep I got a text from an unknown.
From: Unknown-
Just wanted to say good night.. I have a whole day off tomorrow(except the concert) and I was wondering if you wanted to meet again?
- Justin
I typed a "okey, call me tomorrow. g'night'' back, before i felt asleep with my phone in my hand. Maybe Justin wasn't going to make fun of me? Oh dear myself..who the f*** r u trying to fool?
