The Uncanny Valley - Corey Taylor FF (Slipknot/Stone Sour)

11

Monday morning, another one. I've lost track of time and days lately since I always tried to busy myself as much as possible. Just so I would not think of what Lia did or whom I had met. The past week I have had lived at Mason's and it was really sweet of him to comfort me all the time. He did not try anything else, after this kiss I mean. He completely understood and respected my wishes and I still wasn't sure if I was ever able to pay him back. But I had other concerns at the moment anyways. Because every free minute I got, I have had to make sure to not cross Lia's path and every time I would talk to her I would have to remind her to mind her own business and leave me alone; except for business matters of course. She tried to make me move back in with her. I basically did not even move out, but she probably saw it from a different angle. I kept refusing, though, and with every day passing, Lia tried less until she eventually gave up. But after some weeks it became normal that we would not talk about anything that happened because she realized how much it triggered me and as weird as our relationship was, it was okay for now. It could not be like before that easily, we would not be able to just go back there and act as if nothing happened. But it was a starting point.
Mason on the other hand did not give up at all, he gave me flowers at times or cooked for me, went for a picknick with me on my free day, picked me up from work every day needed and generally spent as much time with me as possible. At first I thought it might bother me, all these efforts he made. But it was nice, it was different. For the first time it really felt as if someone gave more than two shits about me. From time to time I would ask him what the damn flowers were for and he'd say that he'd just 'try to make the next day this someday I spoke from'. This guy was just amazing and I did not know how long I would be able to resist him anymore. Or why I did in the first place. He was my knight in shining armor it appeared - the real one who would not let me down. And everything was well, at least from what I could tell.
That is until I was working on this Monday near to closing time. Lia was behind the counter preparing some last minute drinks and Jasey had the outer terrace to serve, which left me to serve the inside area. It slowly but surely emptied and though we were officially closed I heard the front door go when I was just billing a family with three kids. I looked up, ready to tell the new guest that, unfortunately, we were already closed and saw a flash of orange and blue. I froze for a second before just grabbing my money, thanking the family's father as polite as possible and stalking to the next table. I clearly felt his gaze piercing my back but I tried to ignore the goosebumps creeping up my body and the clear flashback this brought to my head. This guy was unbelievable. Dared to just walk into my fucking café after acting like he did. While waiting for the older couple to finish controlling the bill, I flashed a death glare to Lia. She did not even bother to hold up her hands in defense or something, instead she just stared at Corey and seemed just as shocked as me. Oh. She did not do anything this time? Her face at least told me so. Yeah, I think the wide eyes might indeed imply something like that... Still, it did not explain how this ass got here, though I strongly suspected his little sidekicks told him. Which did not explain why, for heaven's sake. Last time I saw him he was totally pissed and could not even stand straight, he fucking yelled at me that I was only a product of his imagination... and though I was rather shocked back then, weeks ago, I only felt anger boiling inside of me. Normally, I would not be the type of person to hold a grudge against another but this time... I mean who did he think he was?
The couple left their table after paying and now it was just me, Lia and Mr I-Do-Whatever-I-Want left. He was still standing in the entrance but I saw him opening the door for the old people in my peripheral view. So he was able to act and react, woah. Miracle.
I took the wallet that I used as a server and brought it to the main till in which we would lock the money overnight. I heard his steps coming closer and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. When I opened them again, Lia was gone. Probably fled to the kitchen or something, great. Again I closed my eyes and hoped for him to disappear, but the moment my breath calmed a bit I knew my wish was not granted. I collected myself and turned around to face him, my eyes to the ground. I could not stand looking at him. I used to love the sight of him, but after what happened at his house five years ago, his appearance meant pure pain to me.
"Kaelyn..." He barely whispered my name but it was enough for me to lose every thought I had and freeze on spot again. My stomach twisted and it was like someone knocked me to my guts, squeezed the air out of my lungs. I saw him taking another step at me until he stopped only inches away. I still looked to the ground, now seeing both our feet. Yeah, that was an interesting sight.
"Please, listen to me," he spoke again and I felt his warmth when his hand brushed my cheek but I withdrew my head abruptly. He sighed and I felt the tension in the air.
"I'm sorry, really," he spoke again and the smell of stale alcohol hit me. I guess he drank again, though he seemed pretty sober. At least given by the fact that he moved and spoke properly, opposite to the last time I saw him. I looked up and saw his beautiful, beautiful eyes looking at me with so much sorrow and pain. Red circles underlined them and his face had fallen in, crumbled like pastry when our eyes met. He seemed old and broken. His hair seemed paler and his eyes more hollow than I had ever seen them. And still, he was Corey. He opened his mouth but no word came out for a while. Then, he raised his hand again, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear.
"I am trying," he mumbled and gave me one of these crooked smiles I used to love so much.
Eventually, I found my voice.
"What do you want?" I brought out hesitantly. "Wasn't it you who said I am just an imagination?" He stared at me and closed his eyes, just like I did seconds ago. Or minutes? I could not tell how long we had already stood there. Every time it came to him I lost every sense. When he reopened them, his eyes were more intensive than ever before.
"I swear, I didn't mean that. I was drunk, I drank every day for the past year or so and I was just totally -"
"And this is your excuse for cheating on me with some barbie?" I interrupted him and he clearly did not expect that. His jaw dropped open but he tried to overact it with a halfhearted, sad smile.
"Let me explain."
"I moved a few hundred kilometers so I would never meet you again. So I would not make the mistake of letting you explain anything. We are done, Corey. Please go," I replied and closed my eyes again, holding back the tears that welled up again. Since when had I been so emotional? I dropped my head again, trying to cover my face with my hair.
"Kaelyn, please. I know you are not like this," he tried but I gave a bitter chuckle.
"And I thought you were they guy I'd end up with... no, I won't say anything to that. I won't do this. You still smell like liquor... Just go, Corey. Go."
The swishing of his clothes signaled that he moved again and soon after I felt his hand on my cheek again. His thumb brushed my hair out of my face, then he lifted my head a bit.
"Please...," he mumbled and came closer. Just another bit and his smell hit me again. It wasn't the smell I remembered in my dreams. It was paler as well, displaced by the pale smell of liquor, but somehow it reminded me of our past. I laid my hand onto his and though I felt the warmth I craved for for so long. I wished I could do something different. But it did not feel right to be here, with him. So I embraced his hand with mine and gently lifted it away, letting it drop the moment it left my face. His arm fell back to his side like a doll's when you drop it. I, on the other hand, felt cold again.
"Go," I repeated, a bit more secure in my thoughts and voice now. This was it. I was done.
"I can't just -" but he stopped and turned around half his body, watching the entrance. I followed his gaze and saw Mason standing there, confusion written all over his face and a bouquet of flowers in his hands.
"Kae, are you ready to go home?" he asked, insecurity in his voice. He cleared his throat and arched an eyebrow at Corey before walking over to us.
"Hi, I'm Mason," he introduced himself, stretching out his hand for Corey to take. But he just fixed him with his eyes like a lion fixed the prey he'd kill any moment. Again, Mason cleared his throat and dropped his hand before turning to me.
"You've got everything? It was quite a long day and I want to go to bed soon," he smiled and I nodded.
"Yeah, I'm ready." I took my jacket from behind the counter after shutting away the money and unplugging the machines. Corey stared at me, the pain in his eyes increased. I admit I have never seen someone showing the mental pain he might be in with such intensity. But he wasn't mine to handle anymore, no he was not. I must not act as if he was my problem. Because he decided not to be. He made his decision clear a long time ago. He seemed to sense that this conversation was pretty much done and shoved his hands into his pockets. His head, no his whole frame seemed to be dragged towards the ground while he slowly walked away. What did I do? It was right... but was I really paining him so much? Wasn't it even better that we would part ways now, for real? Shouldn't I explain that Mase and I were nothing? But I just convinced myself that he was not my problem, hence I was not his, right?
He suddenly stopped as if he remembered something and turned around one last time.
"Kaelyn, would you think about something if I'd ask you to?" his look was longingly again and there was so much effort and begging readable in these ocean's orbs.
"Depends..?" I said, suppressing the urge to scream 'anything', which would have been really really stupid.
"Well, it's my birthday on Monday and ... well I know you have to run this café here and you're probably all occupied and whatnot but.. I .. I mean... I'd be happy if you'd stop by," he rambled nervously, then gave me an intense look before I was able to say anything.
"You don't have to answer yet. Just think about it, aight?" He gave Mason one last bitter look.
He flashed me another sad smile and then, he was gone.
Again, he was gone in the blink of an eye.
And again he left me all speechless.
He left me so unsure and giddy.
Questioning my principles.
Everything I promised.
And moreover...
Myself.