Dear Kyle,
you know how I said that I was slowly starting to forget? Well today everything changed.
It was during my therapy session that a memory hit me like a ton of bricks. The therapist asked me about my parents, to analyze my childhood.
That's when I remembered what I did to mom.
All these years I thought she must be out there, living her life with some new family. But no. I took away all chances of that.
You see I had hired a private investigator to find her. All I wanted to do was talk. Maybe ask why she left us and never came back. But you see I had no intentions of hurting her in any way except emotionally. I was going to make her feel guilty as hell and then walk out like she did me.
When I walked up to the house that was hers, I got a sick feeling in my stomach. I should've turned around right there. But I kept going.
Soon enough she let me in the house, asking me if I wanted sugar with my tea.
We sat down in the grand living room. You could tell everything in that house was expensive.
At first everything was alright. She asked me basic questions like, "What do you do for a living? Where do you live? How's your father?"
And at first I didn't mind answering her questions. My plan for guilt was working just like I wanted. But then it was my time for the questions.
"Why'd you leave?"
She looked at me with those vibrant green eyes that I had longed to see when I was younger. They were red from the tears that began to fall.
She like the house looked expensive. Wrapped around her was a shall that probably cost more than my apartment. Her hair was still the same shade of brown it always had, except for little grey roots poking out. On her face was make up that seemed to conceal her true age.
"I don't know Daniel."
"Don't you dare call me that." I snapped at her, a sudden flavor of disgust on my tongue. How could she just leave me behind?
"I left because of you. I saw the evil in your eyes. Even as a kid, I saw what you would become. Your father disagreed, and so I left the two of you behind. Dan, I was wrong, so wrong. Look at you, my baby. You've grown to be a great man. I'm so proud of you."
Every word after that didn't register.
She was scared of me, her five year old son. No wonder dad was resentful towards me.
I wanted to say something, but no words would come out. My chest felt I had been hit by a car.
I drove my own mother away.
"S, scared of m, me?" Was all that came out.
"I was wrong." She said simply, getting up to comfort me.
That's when it hit me.
"No, you're right." I said, my tone harsh. I stood up quickly, pacing around her lavish living room.
I took quick steps towards her, watching as her eyes grew wide in fear.
Without even thinking I put on my leather gloves I had been wearing on the cold walk over.
"You should be sorry."
"I am!" She nearly screamed as I picked up my mug full of tea. I then slammed the cup over her head, knocking her unconscious.
I don't know exactly what happened after that.
What I do know is that she didn't survive.
On her house phone I remember calling for the police. Though by the time they showed up, I was long gone.
What hurts the worst is not knowing.
I don't know what got me so angry that I killed my own mother. I don't know what I did to kill her.
But I do remember sitting in the hospital after getting a call from my dad. He explained to me that it was a break in gone bad. Dad sat by her bed every day and every night, talking to her. He truly believed she could hear him. In those short days he forgave her, and promised that if she woke up, he would take care of her.
But you see she never woke up. The damage to her head combined with a lack of oxygen to hr brain caused for her to go brain dead.
Kyle I lost her three years ago, and I lost you only a couple of months ago.
I'm so tired of losing people. I'm so tired of taking away the lives of people that I care about.
Love,
Danny
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Dang that was so long.
Things are gonna go downhill fast hahahaahahahah
