Dear Kyle,
today me and Chris had a long talk.
"How are you feeling?" He asked me, probably studying the prominent bags under my eyes. Kyle, I haven't slept since I found out about the case.
"Chris he's gone." I said, but I could tell he wasn't understanding.
"Kyle. I haven't seen him since the third." My words came out as quiet and scared. Those two words seemed to be perfect for describing my brain.
"I know you don't want to hear this Dan, but that's a good thing." He then sat up straighter and offered me a jolly rancher. I declined quickly and watched as he put one in his mouth.
"You're right." I started.
"I don't want to hear that." My voice was stronger this time and I could feel myself getting angry.
My fists were beginning to ball in my lap. I tried crossing my legs on the sofa to hide them, but I could tell he saw.
"Dan come on now." He said softly but that only got me more angry. Kyle I was so close to snapping.
I stood up, slowly walking towards him. It was different this time. The fear that seemed to fuel me, wasn't there. He wasn't scared of me.
I couldn't do it. He didn't give me the power like everybody always had.
"You don't want to. Look at me Dan, it's not worth it." I focused on my breath, slowing it down and then unclenching my fists.
It hurt me. Physically it felt so wrong and disgusting. The adrenaline was pumping through my veins, making my heart beat fast in my chest.
Then I sat back down, and closed my eyes. The angry was quickly leaving and my body.
Kyle that's the fist time I've ever done that.
Chris then told me about how proud he was, that he knew how difficult that was for me. That I've shown incredible progress and despite my past he thought of me as a good person.
And because of this I've made up my mind.
Kyle I came up with a plan last night while laying in bed. And I would be lying through my teeth if I told you it didn't scare the shit out of me.
In fact just the thought of going through with it makes me want to be sick.
But that's for another time.
Love,
Danny
Ps. Please come back
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One more chapter and an epilogue bitches
