Housemates

Chapter 112

It was late. Ellie wasn’t sure how late. The hotel was quiet, and their room was peaceful. Ellie had left the curtains open a little way, and from the bed she could see city lights outside, through the gap. Watching the lights and listening to the steady rumble of the hotel’s air conditioning was making her vaguely sleepy. The noise was oddly soothing and comforting.

She was stroking Mia, sliding her hands over Mia’s back, thinking. She was thinking about nothing particular, about being happy, and about talking, and what they ought to discuss if they ever did discuss anything. She was thinking about things she might need to say, and that one of those things was Mark, and she didn’t know quite why she asked, but suddenly she did.

Suddenly she said, “Have you said anything to Mark?”

Mia opened her eyes. “What?”

“Mark,” Ellie said, still stroking Mia’s back. “I just wondered if you’d told him about this.”

“Of course not.”

“Why of course?”

“I didn’t know if you’d want me to.”

“Oh,” Ellie said, and thought for a moment. “I’m not sure. Would you mind if we don’t?”

“Nah. Why would I mind?”

Ellie shrugged. “You might want to tell him.”

“I told you I don’t.”

“You might think I’m embarrassed or something.”

“Embarrassed?” Mia said, sleepily.

“About you.”

Mia rolled over and looked at Ellie. “Are you embarrassed?”

“Nope.”

“So there you go,” Mia said.

Ellie lay there for a moment, trying to decide how truthful Mia was being. Ellie knew she thought too much. She knew that about herself. She knew she was probably too used thinking too much, and especially to over-thinking other people’s reactions, so often she expected responses that were simply wrong. She knew she did that, but because she did, she wasn’t sure if Mia was being truthful.

“Do you mean that?” Ellie said.

“Yep,” Mia said.

Ellie kept looking at her, wondering.

“And it isn’t like there’s much to tell,” Mia said. “Is there?”

Ellie looked at Mia, wondering what that meant. She wanted to ask, but at the same time she didn’t. She didn’t completely like the way it sounded. She decided not to ask, and that she should move on, but by the time she’d decided she’d been silent too long, and Mia had noticed her silence. Mia was thinking now too.

“What?” Mia said.

Ellie shook her head. “Nothing.”

“There isn’t much to tell,” Mia said, as if she was saying something obvious. “I mean, this is just us having sex.”

“I suppose.”

“It is just sex,” Mia said, oddly insistent. “It’s not like you and me are involved or anything.”

“No,” Ellie said, feeling a little odd. “I suppose not.”

Mia looked at her. “It feels like there’s an except,” she said.

“Not really.”

“Which means there is,” Mia said. “So except what? That it’s rude just to say so?”