Housemates

Chapter 113

Ellie sat there for a moment, thinking. She was still a little hurt. She didn’t know why talking had suddenly upset her, but it had, and now she was angry and sad and wanted to cry all at once. She pulled her hair up into a bun, then had nothing to fix it with, and let it fall back down. It was probably the wrong time to be talking like this, she thought. It was probably too late at night. They were probably both tired, so if they were having a fight, which it seemed like they were in their own weird way, then it would probably be worse because they were tired.

They shouldn’t talk now, Ellie thought, except that they had to talk now. If they didn’t, Mia might leave forever, out of some stupid idea it was best for Ellie for Ellie to lose Mia. It was stupid, and wrong, and it was also what Mia seemed to believe, and Ellie needed to work out a way to make her see it was wrong, and do so very quickly.

Ellie wanted to fix everything, but she didn’t know how. She thought for a while, and nothing came to mind. Mia was sitting there, watching her, waiting.

Ellie didn’t know how, and she didn’t know why this was happening, and it was starting to hurt that it was. It hurt that Mia would do this, and it hurt Ellie couldn’t make this right, and couldn’t think to fix everything. Ellie couldn’t think, so instead of being clever, instead of the right words, in the end she just asked the thing she actually wanted to know.

“Do you want to do something that isn’t sex?” Ellie said. “Like, go out with me somewhere?”

Mia looked at her for a moment. “You don’t want to go out with me.”

“Yeah I do. I just asked you.”

“Trust me, you don’t.”

“Trust you?”

“Yeah.”

“Trust you?” Ellie said. “Fuck you.”

“What?” Mia said, and actually looked offended.

“How can you possibly know what I want or don’t want.”

“I just do, okay?”

“Because, what? You’ve been with so many people and read all their minds? Because you’ve fucked hundreds of women like me and know exactly what I’m thinking?”

“Something like that.”

“Women like me?” Ellie said, annoyed Mia hadn’t argued about that part. “So, what? Straight women?”

Mia looked at her. “Something like that.”

“Women you made less straight.”

Mia sighed.

“Fuck you,” Ellie said. “This isn’t like that.”

“Yeah,” Mia said. “I know.”

“It really fucking isn’t, and I hate you for saying it is.”

Mia looked upset. “You hate me?”

“I don’t hate you, but I don’t like what you just said.”

Mia nodded slowly.

“So say sorry,” Ellie said.

“I’m sorry.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t just say it because I told you too.”

Mia looked up. “I’m not just saying. I really am sorry.”

Ellie nodded, and thought a little more. “So since you know so much,” she said. “Why don’t I want to go out with you?”