As Far Away as Yesterday | ✔

♢as fast as you can♢

During all the time of being suspended from school, I'd continued to sneak out to visit Aisling in the park. I never questioned her on wether or not she'd been ditching school, or why she was always at the park. Maybe, I was grateful for her company, and I couldn't possibly go a day without seeing her.

So there was no thoughts about it.

But on the day before I was to be back in school, I came to the park and was surprised to find that Aisling hadn't showed up first like most times.

I sat on the bench and decided today was going to be the day I asked her out on a date.

Easily, she and I could think that sitting on a park bench and talking about life was dating, or a date. Yet, that wouldn't be right in all technicalities. Due to the fact that initially we were wary of one another, and I didn't have feelings for her on the first meeting.

I thought she'd been a bitch, and kind of snooty and weird.

But then something changed.

I felt the shift when she hugged me for the first time.

♢

Soon the sun had set.

Aisling never showed.

Maybe she got hung up, or perhaps she was sick even though she looked fine yesterday,

What if she didn't want to see me anymore? What if she was going to start avoiding me?

Oh, Lord. She might not even return my feelings.

I decided to come to the conclusion that she got hung up, and would show tomorrow, she just had to.

Once I got home Mom still wasn't home from working at the bar, and Aaron had been staying at his girl friend's house a lot, and I think he joined a band, so he hadn't been home for the past couple days.

Not like I was worried or anything.

After taking a shower; thinking for a bit. I got into a pair of pajamas and got into bed.

I fell asleep praying Aisling wasn't avoiding me, and that she would see me tomorrow at the park.

♢

School was different, but I could tell something had changed.

Everybody looked at me differently.

I couldn't explain it, but everybody had this look in their eyes as though there was something odd about me.

As I was putting things in my locker, this one football player named Isaac Stints approached me.

He wore a smile on his face, and his arms were crossed. He leaned against my locker.

"Dude, everybody thinks you're fuckin' boss for beating Mike Matthew's face in."

I sighed indifferently, and grabbed my English text book. "I wasn't trying to be," I mumbled.

Isaac laughed a little, and gave me a pat on the back. "Whatever man. Mike is an asshole, and he deserved it."

Just then a girl approached him. She was best friend's to the last girl I dated.

She smiled at me flirtatiously, and said, "Y'know, I don't know why Gwen ever broke up with you. Weren't you like the star of the wrestling team last year?"

"Yeah," I mumbled, shutting my locker, then walking off.

♢

Ryan smiled at me in a similar way Aisling had done, and she looked to be taking a big breath.

I took a sip of my bottle of water, and eyed her suspiciously.

When she saw the look I was giving her she laughed a nervous laugh, and brushed away some of the hair in her eyes.

"Joey," she said, "I've been thinking..."

"Yeah...?"

"Well, first I'd like to say...I like you, a lot."

"Right..."

"And you're so cool and nice in my eyes. A-and I can't stop thinking about you. I think you're the only boy I've ever really talked to, and I think you have this whole exterior about yourself that makes me think you have more of a heart and that you really could be a happy person. It's just that....I feel...I want to be your girlfriend.

I then frowned and kind of laughed, like a jerk; a conceited jerk. "Well, I'm sorry. It ain't happening."

She wasn't smiling anymore. She looked like I told her some devastating news. "But I, I thought you liked the date, and we've been hanging out...and eating lunch together..."

"We did all of that as friends. Friends can do those things Ryan. Get over yourself."

She teared up, got up from the table quickly, and ran off.

Maybe I should run after her, and tell her why, and apologize. I could've maybe had a different approach, but my heart's settled on Aisling. Aisling is who invades my dreams. Ryan is a nice girl, who I eat lunch with. I consider her a friend, but nothing else.

When I'd been turning Ryan down, I didn't notice everyone in the student center staring at us. But now that I do, I couldn't help but think of myself as the biggest asshole ever.

I liked Aisling though. I loved her.

♢

Aisling didn't show up first, again.

I did something wrong, that's it.

She probably hated me.

Did she ask some people about me? Did she still think I'm an asshole?

Something is wrong.