Danger- Sequel [Luke Brooks]

England Bound- Chapter 6

I'm sorry for being a ittle slow on updating but I've been getting my exam results and well I got an A* in English guys woo! But I failed some subjects but it wasn't entirely my fault so I've been aloud to re-do them in my spare time so updating might be a little slow but I'll try and update every two-three days. Okay enjoy reading and remember to let me know what you think : @lukeatmebitch and @fedoraluke

~few days later~

*Luke’s POV*

I have been drinking, crying and drinking ever more over these past few days than I probably have in my entire lifetime. I feel powerless, empty, broken and to be honest these feelings are alien to me. I’ve never experienced such hurt and I never thought I could, I never thought that I could feel love like this. I’ve never lost someone that I love so much, I’ve never grieved so much, she wasn’t just another girl she was my love and she’s gone and I have no way of ever getting her back and no matter hard it may be eventually I am going to have to except that.

There’s still this tiny part of me that say’s she isn’t gone, somewhere somehow still alive. Then reality sets in and I know all those feelings are absurd and it’s like a thousand knives cutting through my heart breaking me at every slice.

The thought that tortures me most is that I broke my promise to keep her safe.

I have been calling Ron almost every day, only drunk of course, I actually haven’t let myself suffer a hangover, and instead I have drunk more as each day goes on. I don’t want to sit and wallow in myself pity and hurt.

Talking to Ron has been somewhat relaxing, he’s the only one who fully understands the pain I feel if not more,  he needs someone to listen to as do I and his soothing voice is always enough to calm me. My brothers are doing all they can to support me and it warms my heart that they care so much (although I’d never admit that to them) but they don’t understand this kind of pain.

When Ron first told me how Ami died I ended the call immediately. I couldn’t listen. I didn’t want to believe it true. The reason why and how she died caused me to torture myself every time I close my eyes, I hear her sobs, I feel the tears welling in her eyes and I desperately try to comfort her but there’s nothing I can do, I reach out to help her but my fingertips are never able to reach her skin, reality pulls me back. The nightmares have been constant since the night I found out.

I should have been there for her.

I remember when I was in the shower with her and I gently kissed those scars and promised that I won’t let her hurt again. I broke that promise and I’ll never be able to fix it

Guilty flashes over me again and I take a sip of vodka. I’m not ready to feel the full force of pain that her death will bring me; I’m not ready to let myself fall at all of those emotions. The taste of burning alcohol consumed my senses, the pain was easing off or so I thought.

I turned my head to notice a picture sitting on my bedside table. It was Ami and I, the night before the premiere.

She’s gone.

She’s gone.

She’s gone.

My sub-conscious is screaming at me and for once that alcohol isn’t healing it. I throw another shot of vodka down my neck to see if it has any other affect.