Dead Poets Club ✓

untied shoelace boyhood

you don't keep love around. as a boy you only kissed pretty girls with red lips splotchy from sucking ring pops they bought at five-a-dime stores. with their soft love eyes, use your teeth please, but don't bite us please, what the fuck is that even supposed to mean? you don't know how to bark. the moon is full and all you want to do is howl. they liked the heatwave like summer sweat under skin tight sheets they'd get when you'd say putain de beauté with your half-lidded eyes and that your best friend was gay because it's the modern age. but they never saw your damp eyes because honestly honey, they wouldn't care.

in your father's bible, he says you're gonna have to ruin her because your ma filled his glass with vitriol instead of jack daniels one time too many and she withdrew with you to get out of that sinful house. but the ceiling played re-runs of your father with his barbour coat saying, a shadow on the wall, son, son, their teeth, they sink so deep, never let them close. you don't want to believe him. you don't.

so how to keep love around? you spread it everywhere. love is marmalade and you're the knife. in the bathrooms of convenience stores while your friends prank call takeaway restaurants on the hood of the ferrari where you laugh over the writing on the stalls and worship her mouth and hot shivers skitter over your spine. love tastes like apricot confiture in her mouth. what do you do now? with all that love? your father is on the phone, got you down to your bones asking what the fuck your life's become.

so you turn up the stereo, leave your friends behind and write your vows with her lipstick on the windshield with cracker jack rings on your fingers because your wallet is broke from week long stays in three star motels.

you miss the exit sign to go home and she doesn't care.

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i'm not entirely sure what this is but that's okay

thank you for 2.5K reads and #66 in POE! happy new year and i hope 2017 treats you all better <3 <3

edited: 28 april, 2018