lost in your mind ✧ joshler ✔️

deux

"i don't know how
not to miss you.
it seems that you
have taken up a
permanent residence
in the place that used
to be my heart. but
now is just a sea of
thoughts about you."

- h.v

—

the next morning, josh awoke in his own bedroom. he was clutching the soft bed sheets roughly as if he had just overcome a nightmare. it was eleven am and josh had felt that he'd overslept. he swore he'd left a timer for eight in the morning the day before.

but, it didn't matter. it wasn't like he had any place to go. he just naturally set a timer for eight everyday. he liked to stick to a daily routine. josh stretched his arms and yawned, his yawn resembling a kitten. josh then stared out his window, his apartment was placed in a busy city, which meant he had to always wake up in constant noise. he never did grow fond of that. the noise bothered him very much. it made him uncomfortable, lots of things did. and yes, it was strange for a twenty seven year old man to be frightened of such noises but then again he wasn't the only one. he understood that for a fact.

to distract himself from the cars honking and their headlights passing by, he thought of the forest and how peaceful it was. that's why he was there the other night, last night. he wanted to find peace from all the noises that made him feel sad an uneasy, he found peace in tyler's voice. in his music for that matter.

josh finally came to a decision, he would go see tyler again today. it was rather strange. but, josh had kind of come to grow on tyler. they talked for quite a bit last night. they might've even exposed a few things about themselves that they hadn't told anyone else. all in all, it was weird. it was weird how you can tell a complete stranger all your secrets, but not your closet friends. but, josh never had close friends any way.

josh waltzed into his kitchen, wearing his long pink socks as he glided through the kitchen floor. strangely he had been in a much happier mood. josh found himself humming to a song that he had not recognized before. that was until last night o'course. it was a song that no one knew.

it was tyler's song, josh again took a liking to tyler's voice. i know where you stand silent in the trees. josh could not help himself, it was almost as if every second he caught himself thinking about tyler. maybe him and tyler in a few unnamed scenarios as well. josh sighed happily, his hand on his heart as if he was in love.

but, he couldn't be. who would he be in love with? tyler? josh's face paled, his face now the color crimson grey. his face was practically white now as he continued to think about tyler joseph. he wasn't gay. though, he did question it. josh hoped that one day he didn't have to.

-

it was now three o'clock in the afternoon, josh found himself bored out of his mind. his mind could explode at any minute now, it was most likely due to his stress and anxious self. but, like always he found himself with no reason to be anxious. his fingers scattered across his desk table, clawing at it like a cat. the noise itself hurt his ears but he liked hurting himself.

josh finally gathered up all his courage to go back into the forest to see tyler. tyler did say that he was one to come and go to the forest every now and then. so, josh decided to do what was left of him. josh put on clothing that he could actually go out in public with and waltzed out the front door of his apartment.

he walked the entire mile to see tyler joseph, the random guy in the forest who he referred to as his friend for some odd reason. josh hummed all the way into the forest, keeping his hand over his pocket, in case his phone buzzed. he'd always been anxious of receiving some sort of important message or alert that he never found out about. it was like getting a text about someone close to you dying and you know nothing of that. that was his greatest fear.

"tyler!" josh yelled, his hands cupping his mouth so that his voice could echoe throughout the forest. a few birds came out of a tree and flew south. josh paid no attention to that as he looked forward to seeing tyler. "tyleeer!" josh had been feeling melancholy now, there was no sign of his dear friend.

"oh, hello there," tyler spoke, popping out of a few bushes behind josh. josh jumped in surprise but his scared expression quickly grew into a smile once realizing it had only been tyler. "i-i didn't see you there," josh stuttered, his voice quiet but fast like a mouse. josh swallowed hard after experiencing that sudden scare.

tyler chuckled, his laughter like music in josh's ears. "you're legit like a ghost," josh proceeded to tell tyler. josh put his hands in his pocket as he pulled on his black hoodie, covering the back of his faded red hair. the brown headed boy didn't like that josh was self conscious about his hair, although he proceeded to say nothing of it.

"a ghost? are you hinting at me that i am invisible," tyler laughed again. he somehow found the humor in everything. he was a happy person, according to what josh knew of tyler. although his lyrics were nowhere near tyler as an individual. that was kind of scary.

"no not at all. but, you could be," josh said both of his eyebrows raised in excitement. he looked forward having these typical talks with tyler. "you can always be a ghost, i'm a ghost," josh began.

tyler raised his right eyebrow in utter confusion. "what do you mean? elaborate." tyler asked him. his hands were clasped together, very interested in what josh had to say. josh cleared his throat, he ignored eye contact with tyler.

"well, i don't get noticed very much for my talent and all. sometimes i feel like a ghost because of it, y'know because i get ignored. so, i feel invisible—sort of like i don't exist in a way," josh ranted, he blushed hard once realizing how much he had spoken. he hadn't been much of a talker. another reason why he thought of himself as a ghost boy.

"your talent? tell me about that," tyler said leading josh back to the campfire which wasn't lit up anymore. josh predicted it because it was the afternoon and the sun had been up. "well, to begin with i personally think i'm a mediocre drummer," josh stated, his voice firm but clear. he strained a smile but he didn't feel the need to have to do that around tyler.

"mediocre? you're probably great with the drums. i fascinate myself with the ukulele and a little bit of piano. but, all in all you cannot be too bad," tyler protested. it was as if tyler was a therapist or a poet of some sort. he definitely spoke like he was. but, another possibility was that he was a very unique person. josh liked that.

"thank you, you're a great singer," josh included, he found tyler very likable. which was weird considering he hadn't been much of a people person. "i really enjoy listening to your singing voice," josh added again. singing voice? he felt like an idiot now. what would tyler say to that?

"do you want me to sing you a song?"

—

happy new year everyone! stay safe ily all !
🎉🎈
- brisa