Alot of shit on my chest, so ima let this
chapter cry for me.
two fucking years.
Sometimes, when she felt like remembering, She could still feel the his hand on the back of her neck that day their shared their first kiss.
She was a senior in high school and he was going to be a freshman, in college of course. He had a basketball scholarship to California State and was eager to begin the new chapter of his life.
"I'm gonna miss you" She said.
"I'ma miss you more lil mama, you gonna wait for me?" He questioned.
"Forever baby,and you better not be on none of those little bird bitches on the west coast I swear to god" She said running her hands through his short curls as they leaned against his mothers black Jeep Wrangler.
"Not even the real bad ones? I can't make promises bae" He said poking her stomach.
She closed her hand and gripped his curls ,He winced in pain.
"Lose your fucking life,bitch." She said Releasing her grip and kissing his lips"
"I love you chubbs" He said.
She sucked her teeth, she hated that nickname.
"Yeaaaaah, whatever I love you too giraffe"
He snatched her gahdamn soul that night while his momma was working that graveyard shift
>>*<<
"YUP,PREGNANT AND SHE'S COMING TO YOU DIANA!" Her father yelled on the phone.
"YOU'RE THE CLOSEST THING TO MOTHER SHE GOT NOW, YOU TOOK THAT ON NOW BE A MOTHER,I WON'T HAVE NO FAST LITTLE GIRL UNDER MY ROOF, I'LL KILL HER LITTLE ASS"
The end of the summer the kids parted ways. One thinking "not forever" and before he knew it break would be coming around and he'd see her again once he came back home and the other with a fake smile plastered on her face knowing that her life would never be the same. She ain't know shit about New York. She'd only knew New Orleans.
Months past and He didn't contact her. She'd see him on Snapchat, Facebook and Instagram.He was Doing him.
The texts became less frequent, the phone calls shorter, the trips home less anticipated. She didn't sleep for awhile after their departure and She cried herself self to sleep habitually, muffling the sound with her pillow so mother wouldn't be awakened.
She soon developed a habit of waking up in the middle of the night and climbing into her mothers bed, the only reply to her mothers's question "My heart hurts"
>>*<<
slowly starting realizing that she was a whole person on her own detached from the tried and true 'power couple' that She was so used to. She started remembering who She was, and began engaging in activities that reflected that person. She listened to less Drake and Future and more Erykah Badu and Odd Future she got drunk and danced with boys whose names I can't recall. She dated girls and males just alike and broke their hearts just because she could.
She was no longer insecure
She had personality and Sex appeal.
If you didn't like girls before her, you did now.
She loved who she was, she loved her roots and heritage...He had a "white bitch" but she'd never compare to the now red headed, tattooed and pierced, mother edition of the girl he'd never looked back at.
>>*<<
2016 She seen him in the food court hands intertwined with his snow bunny....She was last minute Christmas shopping .He stared at her for a long time before jogging up to her.
After all she changed. She lost a little weight, she looked different and a huge one she had a baby. She just waved and kept it pushing.
>>*<<
Christmas Eve.
"Aye that little yellow boy at my doorstep looking for you chubby".......
>>*<<
"What are you doing here, you got some fucking nerve showing up to MY father's house like you got that privilege"
"Is he mine?" He spoke calmly.
"Don't come asking me no motherfucking questions" She growled.
"Chubby, don't be like that. I just need to know. I seen the pictures on IG and Rell said he's mine because you had to leave and live wit ya momma after I left. DON'T DO THIS, THAT BOY IS MY TWIN AND I NEED THAT BOND WITH HIM I FEEL INCOMPLETE"
He smirked and added "you know I never gave up on our dreams"
"Yeah" She smiled.
They thought everything would happen like it always had. It didn't. Their kisses felt incestuous and awkward, her hand didn't quite fit his like it used to. She was scared because She felt as though She lost her best friend and She was confused about how to deal with this new person She felt growing inside of her.
She wasn't ready.
She didn't want need him like she thought she did.
She was 'Playa,Playa'
She had her eyes on this writer. She was her next victim and she ain't even know it yet.
but that's another chapter .
