Aurora

17.

The drive home was awkward and seemed really, really long.

Landon kept looking at me, as if to make sure I wouldn't blurt anything out. I did as I told him I would, keeping my lips sealed.

That was how it was for the next couple of days. We'd hang out, and Julien would act as if nothing happened. He'd wear a smile and kiss Natalie and act all charming and compliment her, while Landon and I knew the truth and exchanged looks. Connor was oblivious to it all. He still chanted their ship name and still bugged Natalie about liking him.

With every hour I spent with Landon and Julien, I began to notice changes, and Landon began to tell me more. I found out that Julien had been really troubled in the past, and that over the summer he'd walked in on him doing drugs. Landon never told his parents. Again, he told me not to tell anybody, and so I didn't. Then, I found out that Julien hadn't just cheated on Leah with Natalie. There were other girls he'd been with, too. Leah only knew about one of them - a girl that went to their school named Celeste. She got really angry when she figured it out, and she broke up with Julien for a while. Julien didn't care. Eventually Leah came crawling back, and the same thing just happened over and over again. Now, Natalie was the one caught in the middle. She just didn't know it.

One day, I went for a walk outside to check the mailbox. As I trudged through the snow, I heard sniffles. I turned in the direction I heard them, only to see Landon, sitting on his staircase and looking upset. He was crying.

"Landon?"

He flinched at the sound of my voice and looked up, his face reddening. "Aurora... What are you..."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

I approached him a little. He stood up and backed away.

"Landon..."

"You should go."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"No. Everything's fine."

"Landon, I--"

"I said everything's fine!"

Then we heard a muffled voice booming through the front door, angry and frightening. Landon glanced at me, his eyes wide with fear, then took my hand and ran away from his property. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I kept running with him, and as I did, I heard Julien's voice calling after him. Landon began running a little faster.

We ran until our lungs were burning and our legs were throbbing. He'd led me into the middle of a forest, where we stopped to catch our breath.

"What's going on?" I said.

"Julien," he breathed. "H-He's... We... He knows I told you."

"Landon!"

He kicked the snow. "I can't do it anymore! I can't keep his stupid secrets, okay? What does he expect me to do? Just bottle everything up? It's too much, Aurora! How am I supposed to hold all of this information within me when I know that I could be helping him get better!"

"Landon..."

"Julien isn't the person everyone thinks he is, Aurora, for two reasons. One, he's a decent actor. Two, because of me. For crying out loud, he'll end up dead some day for all I know! And guess whose fault it's gonna be?"

"Not yours, Landon--"

"Yes, mine! Mine because I could've told somebody."

"Well--"

"Two nights ago I walked in on him with pills. He was trying to kill himself, Aurora."

"Are you serious? You have to tell--"

"It's not that easy. Look, he's our parents' favourite. He's everyone's favourite. I don't get attention from anyone because all of the attention is focused on him, Aurora. Him!"

"So you want him to die..."

"No! That's not what I want! I just... He's the only one that actually talks to me, okay? He's the only one in our family that acts like he cares. I can't have him hate me."

"You have to tell your parents, Landon..."

He collapsed onto the snow, burying his face into his hands. "I wish it was that easy, Aurora..."

"I'll tell my aunt, if you want. I'm sure she'll tell your parents."

"No, no... Please don't do that."

"Landon, I have to--"

"Please, Aurora. Promise me. Promise me you won't tell anyone."