As Beyoncé looked at his handsome face, she felt as if she'd never not known that hair, those dark eyes, those lips, that jaw. And it was because of their long history that she searched for something to say, something that would get them back to where they had been. All that came to her was . . ." I miss you. I miss you so fucking bad it hurts, but I don't know how to find you even though you're right in front of me." A broken heart is just the growing pains necessary so that you can love more completely when the real thing comes along but she thought that this was the real thing... she must have been wrong. "I think I should leave" She told him in a soft voice. He do not responded immediately, for it took him a moment or two to fully digest these words. Moreover, as you might appreciate, their implications were such as to provoke a certain degree of sorrow within him. Indeed- why should he not admit it? - at that moment, his heart was breaking. "We're not good for each other any more" She tried to explain but he couldn't understand what she was saying. He knew what he had done was wrong, he knew that she'd be angry but she couldn't leave him.
"But-" He gulped and took a moment to try to think of something he could say to change this. Anything. But all that came to mind were his regretful and apologetic pleads. He knew to never ruin an apology with an excuse. But would 'sorry' have made any difference? Does it ever? It's just a word. One word against a thousand actions.
"Carter" She walked over placing her hand on his cheek and smiled, "I fell for you and I fell hard. You bruised my knees and my heart to the point where I will do everything in my power never to fall for anyone again. It's safer to stay on your feet. I would rather walk through life completely without love - empty; than crawl through what's been pumping through my veins one more time." She didn't kiss him, she didn't hug him nor did she let her touch linger longer than her words. Instead she turned away from him and picked up her suit case ready to go and leave him in her past. It is always so simple, and so complicating, to accept an apology because she knew that If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit same mistake again they just apologized for.
"No!" He yelled to her, "We can fix this" He grabbed her hands hopefully but she moved them from his grasp and glared at her hands for a moment. As if completely involuntary she ran to his bathroom and washed her hands hard in the hot water. He heard the tap water running and knew he had fucked up, if he couldn't touch her then he had lost her trust and sooner or later- he'd loose her heart too. Beyoncé looked at herself in the mirror for a moment and then walked out of the bathroom grabbing her things and walking past him not bothering to pay him any attention. She couldn't bring herself to talk to him, look at him or even breath in his direction. Everything about the entire situation hurt her and there was nothing she could do about it so she was leaving. She didn't know where she was going just yet but she knew she was leaving. "Beyoncé!" He yelled behind her. She opened the front door throwing the key she had to his house to the ground and making her way to her car where she put her suitcase in the trunk and slammed it shut. The more she thought about it, the angrier she got and she couldn't help that. "Beyoncé! Where do you expect to go? You need me!". These words caused her mind to explode in anger and she turned to him before throwing her hand forward and punching him in the face. Carter grabbed his bleeding nose and looked at her in shock,
"I don't need you! Maybe I did but I certainly don't right now" She then spun away from him and climbed into her car slamming the door as she got in and starting the ignition ready to drive away from this man and never return.
"Beyoncé, I didn't mean it like that. Please just come inside. I love you" He kindly said through the window, she turned to him with angry eyes and laughed right in his face.
"You can only love what you've got while you've got it, Shawn" She told him sternly,
"I'll always love you, I'm sorry" He begged
YOU ARE READING
A New Woman
FanfictionBey has been in prison for a year and knows that she in innocent and constantly reminds the people around her of this but no one believes her because of her behaviour. Without Carter she had become the dangerous woman she once was but now it's even...
