Miss You || J.S.

pt. 20

(you don't have to play the song, i just really like old music lolol)

ALLISON'S ROOM

it's a new day in this hell hole, but at least we're not at school yyangyang.

"goodmorning, baby" says jax interrupting my thoughts.

"hey bud" aha friendzoned that betch.

"are you going to break up with jacob" 

"yeah, probably. we're just not right for each other, he doesn't even like me anymore so what's the point"

"he may still like you, he's probably just kissing up to jules because he wants to get back at you for acting like you like me."

"who says i was acting"

"so you do like me?" jax said with a bit of confused excitement in his voice.

"after we made up i was starting to like you." i said looking down at the floor.

"im glad, because i like you too" he said reaching over to grab my hand.

"i have to tell jacob i want to break up with him first" i said flipping over to make eye contact with jax.

"he will probably just start dating julia" jax said resting his other hand on my flank (between the rib and hip)

"i don't care. he was loyal so i just hope he gets a new girl that is actually as loyal as him. im not holding any grudges because i still love him and i'll still defend him, i just don't think we're good for each other. he just had sex with julia because he wanted to get back at me, so we good." 

"yeah, but you know you love me more than him" he said with a sarcastic smirk.

"yeah, yeah."

JACOB'S ROOM

"wake up" i say as i shake julia gently.

"im up, now get your hands off of me, fucktard."

"what if i don't want to?" i say, knowing she would get mad. but i like it when she's mad. she's quite adorable if i do say so myself.

"then i'll beat every inch of your body"

"so you beat your meat?" i say trying to hold in my laughter.

"you need to sop" she says with a slight smile appearing on her face.

"you know you love me" i say smiling like a fool.

"nope" she says burrowing her head in my neck and resting her hands on my torso.

"you cant go back to sleep" i say wrapping my arms around her, trying to keep both of us warm because its like freezing.

i forgot about jax and allison for a while until i saw slight movement in the corner of my eye.

allison was squirming around in jax's arms.

im lowkey highkey pissed off.

i mean wh-

once again, my thoughts were interrupted by the voice coming over the intercom again.

"ALLISON TO JACOB'S ROOM, JULIA TO ALLISON'S ROOM" 

what the fuck, why are we switching? i need to talk to allison anyway so oh whale.

and here she comes.

"bitch" i mumble sarcastically as she walks in.

"jacob" she says knowing im pissed at her.

"we need to break up" we both say in sync.

"i can explain" she says.

explain what?

"explain what?" i say repeating my thoughts.

"why me and jax had sex."

"oh, then yeah. please tell me an explanation because that was really uncalled for." i say as she sits on the bed i was currently laying down on.

"when we got in the room jax was hella horny and shit and he basically forced me to have sex with him and i guess you could hear my moans, but i swear i didn't mean to-" she says before i cut her off.

"you were moaning, therefore you were enjoying it"

"yeah, but-"

"there are no 'but's' that's that."

"but you had sex with julia too"

"yeah, but-"

"there are no 'but's' that's that." she said mocking me.

"can we still be friends." she asks with guilt in her eyes.

"yeah, i still love you though. don't forgot that. i'll never stop loving you." i say guilty because i did her dirty by having sex with julia for the wrong reason.

"i love you too, buddy. i'll never leave you, no matter how bad you treat me." she says letting out one of her iconic giggles.

"i still think you're adorable" i say moving closer to her.

"and i still think you're the best person i've ever met" she said.

i smiled to myself.

suddenly i felt terrible. 

i realized how much i love her.

i realized how hard it is going to be to let her go.

i can't, i love her too much.

what have i done?

i will never find anyone like her.

she's amazing.

i hope she isn't going to date jax, that'd make her come off as a selfish bitch.

im such a fuck up.

i just let go of the most amazing girl i've ever met.

im mentally screaming.

what am i going to do without her?

does she really love me?

im screwed.