Consequences Of The Past [Hold]

Four

4

Although I was furious about the situation I allowed Chris to get the DNA test he so desperately wanted, already knowing what the outcome would be. His doubts about Liane being his really cut deep though, him knowing that he was the first person I've ever been with and I'd never lie to him. His pleas for me to talk to him went unheard at the clinic, my anger only multiplying from what it already was. After taking both of their samples the doctor explained the three day waiting period for results and then allowed us to go our separate ways.

"Mom can I ask you something?" I asked. After the clinic I decided to pay my mother a well overdue visit. Chris and the letters that he had claimed to have sent we have been on my mind since he mentioned it. My initial purpose for coming over here was to pick up some items she had for Liane but the topic of these mysterious letters came back to me."Go ahead."

"So the other day I seen Chris," "Please don't tell me your messing with that hoodlum again." "That hoodlum is the father of my child, mother. You and India are really some hypocrites. Y'all were the main ones telling me that I Liane had a right to know who her father is but now that he's back your saying he's no good." "That was back when you were-" "I thought we weren't gonna talk about anymore." "Whatever you want baby."

"As I was saying," I dragged out, changing the subject. "I saw Chris and he told me that he sent me some letters but I never got any. Do you know anything about that." When I mentioned the letters I could see her whole body get tensed. She shifted in her chair uneasy before giving me a look she always gave when she got caught in a lie. I didn't bother hearing her excuse as to why she withheld the letters, letting me think that Chris had just forgotten me.

"Can I see them?" Reluctantly she went off into another room, emerging seconds later with a box full of the items Chris had sent me. I would've said letters but it was much more than that. The contents of the box included jewelry, now expired candy, stuffed animals, and other random goodies. "Why'd you keep this from me? I asked as I examined a necklace that was in the box. It was gold, increased with diamonds with my name carved in it. "You were fifteen, pregnant, and depressed. You were just starting to talk to me again when the letters came, I knew showing you the letter would just fuel your depression." "So instead you let me think he just forgot about me? You don't think that upset me more?" This silenced her. I know her intentions may have been good but the output wasn't. It resulted in me having a child that was growing up without a father. " Can I have some time alone? To read these." She nodded, leaving me alone with the letters.

I took a handful of the unopened envelopes, examining them with my fingertips. Just allowing myself to get a feel of the quantity of the letters. A envelope with a champagne coloring was the first to catch my eye. Carefully opening it I pulled out the hand written page concealed inside.

Dear Maria,

You haven't been returning my calls so I wrote you this letter. I really don't know what to say in it. I just want you to know I'm thinking of you. The way I left was fucked up I know but can you please just talk to me. I'm writing a fucking letter right now trying to get in contact with you. I know the way I left was wrong but you can't just stop answering my calls and forget about me and I can't just forget about you either.

You know It's different out here compared to VA. Cameras following me around and shit now, it's weird. I wish you could be here too, by my side. I bet the cameras would love you. They'd be more focused on you then me. You always did find a way to gather everyone's attention, always the center of attention. I'm kinda just writing anything now. They're pushing me to finish this album soon and I just needed a break. You should've been here so you could tell me everything was gonna be okay.