Autumn Leaves (Ed Sheeran)

Prologue.

The pavement was as cold as ice. He could feel it under his feet as if they were bare, despite the combat boots he wore. No longer could he feel his nose, though he didn't even walk a mile, but it was getting too hard to breathe to focus on that. No open buildings were around; this side of town was filled with worn brick structures with either wood boarding up the doors or signs on the doors saying they were closed forever. It was impossible to find a comfy, warm café to drink tea in with this kind of weather for at least another mile.

Despite the icy cold weather, he trudged the mile; he was miserable. Of all the people that could hurt him, he never expected it to be her. His eyes watered slightly at the thought of her showing up on the streets with her beautiful blonde hair perfectly blowing back in the wind, her rose red lipstick captivating him as she smiled the innocent smile he wished he could have seen right through from the start to save him from this misery.

As he finally reached a small café that was quite unique from the rest. It was small and homey, something he really needed being a now famous musician; it was somewhere he would like to live in if he could. "Can I get some tea, love?" he asked as he entered and removed his coat. He was certain his face was tomato red from the cold based on the look the lady at the register gave him, but all he wanted to do was sit at the empty couch in the corner and have a cup of tea. Just as he sat down on the couch, the same lady gave him his desired beverage. At last, he was surrounded by comfort for the first time in what felt like months or even years.

The relaxing wouldn't last long for the poor boy, as a girl came through the door wearing a gray hoodie with a large blood stain on the left sleeve and snow-covered sweatpants, her converse barely noticeable under the length of the pants and the amount of snow she tracked in. Casually kicking the snow off her shoes, she sat on the chair diagonal of him and began writing in a book that looked more like a journal from the angle he was sitting at. "Hello," he began awkwardly in an attempt to make conversation. She didn't look up or even acknowledge his greeting. "Hello," he repeated, though it came out as more of a question.

This time, she looked up with an obviously fake smile spread across her face. "I'm sorry. Did you say something?"

"I just said hello." He stared down at the cup of tea in his hands of embarrassment.

"Oh hi! Sorry about that. My ears are ringing; I think it might be from the cold." Her voice was cheerful but weak in a way he couldn't comprehend. "I'm Autumn."

"I'm Ed," he smiled as he looked up from the drink he held. She was almost as mesmerizing as the girl he once loved, only she was different. No makeup was on her face, revealing her natural beauty, and her eyes were the perfect shade of olive green. It was bright enough to bring out her pale complexion but dark enough to fit her mysterious shell Ed wanted to break so badly. Her hair was the color of an orange autumn leaf, which he realized was most likely the origin of her name. He snapped out of his trance and put the tea down on the table in front of him. "So what brings you out of your house with weather like this?"

She shuttered as he said the words 'your house'. "I just needed a break from the family," she lied. "You?"

"I got dumped," he sighed. He buried his face in his hands and shook his head. "She broke my heart again."

"Sounds like a rough breakup."

"Oh you have no idea." He stared into her eyes, trying to detect the emotion he knew she was hiding. "Have you ever been hurt by the same person over and over, wanting them to be part of your life but then wanting them to leave as fast as possible?" She nodded. "I wouldn't think a girl as wonderful as you would fall for a man like that."

Autumn blushed slightly, shaking her head. "It's not like that." Ed raised an eyebrow. "Long story."

"Instead of spending my Saturday afternoon having a lunch I planned with a girlfriend I don't have anymore, I would rather be spending it talking to you." His eyes gleamed with curiosity. "What is it?"

Before beginning, checking her watch, her eyes widened. "I have to go, but here's the story on paper." As she stood up, she handed him her journal she'd carried in with her that had her name on it: Autumn Rae. Before he could say anything, she was out the door and out of his sight.

His eyes went first to the cup of tea, then the book. Why would she give him her personal thoughts and feelings without question? Was she expecting to even see him again when they hadn't exchanged phone numbers or discussed any other form of contact? Slowly opening the book, he looked at the date on the first page and saw the first entry was dated back to six months ago.

Dear Diary,

Surely my father was once a good man? Surely he held me in his arms, rocked me to sleep the way most fathers would do with their infants? It is hard to believe he ever wanted children with the way he acts towards us. As I write, I am using my free arm to wipe the blood I shed from his punches and kicks. My favorite jacket will surely be ruined, but it doesn't bother me much.

I don't mind him hurting me anymore, but why Jack? He's so young, his future so bright. Why must he be hurt so badly, so damaged he can barely smile even a fake smile? A child should never have to suffer that way, especially not him. Especially not my own brother. He deserves none of this; he has so much more good in his heart than myself ever did. Why are the good people the ones who face the most bad?

I've packed up my bag for a quick escape tonight, but I'm certain I'll fail again. I wish I could bring Jack with me and save him from such terror. Unfortunately, he needs to stay and finish school and attempt to live a somewhat happy life in the midst of all the chaos. After all, he is only eight years old.

What have I become, to have to run away from a place I am forced to call home in order to not be abused on a daily basis? What has happened to my life, the life I used to love? Where did my father's happiness go? He went insane years after my mum's death. Surely that wouldn't be the cause so much later on? I just want to be happy again. Is that too much to ask?

Yours Truly, Autumn Rae

His heart was pounding by the end of it; his eyes were wide with shock, fear, and so many other emotions he wasn't sure of. Was that what she was hiding that made her so abnormally cheerful earlier? This was only the first of entries, and he knew there had been many more. Six months of a stranger's darkest moments he held in his hands, and he wasn't sure what to do with it except read it as instructed and in the end, find out what she'd written in the ten seconds Ed watched her write.