My Kind of High

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Winter, it's finally here. The most exciting part is coming up. I've been waiting all year and the meeting at the beginning of the month had just caused more anticipation. All the memories of past years come to mind. I've been doing this since I was 8, and every year it's just as exciting. Seeing all my friends, eating amazing food, sharing what I love, doing what I love, it's all so great. I remember my first crash...in a ditch...with boulders...but thank the gods I wore a helmet, if not I probably would've cracked my head open and died but oh well I alive now aren't I? You kinda have to have that mentality as a skier. No fears. I mean, yes I do have fears like going off that big jump? Fuck no. But going down one of the most challenging slopes? Fuck yes. See jumping I find more dangerous, I mean it's scary if you don't land it...I like going fast down challenging slopes more than jumping. But what I enjoy most would have to be the freedom. It's so liberating, breathing the fresh crisp air, feeling it sharpen your senses, you feel alive, one with the mountain. I know,  I know "so cliché" but seriously these feelings happen. I can't explain the feeling of making it down the mountain safe and getting to go back on the ski lift up to the top to choose another slope to go down and win against nature. But it's almost supernatural and the time flys, consumed by space. Going up on the ski lift is an amazing part of skiing by itself, it's a time to relax and just enjoy the beauty of winter. The snow falls in half-time and lays thickly on the ground. The evergreens stand tall and brave making a path for me to the top of the mountains, blankets of snow like armor. The seat is cold in the winter weather but my layers protect me from freezing. The crunch of the snow from my skis going across them, trailing my progress. The excited mix of emotions as I start going down the slopes is intense but to ease my fears I start to sing. No one can hear me, for no one is around and I'm going too fast to care. I sing the first song that comes to mind, in that moment it was Brave. I sing as loud as my fears and it drowns them. Music carries me through all aspects of my life. It's only the snow and I in that moment. The rush is amazing, I know this is what being high is for me. The freedom is unreal. Even though this is a personal experience for me, I love sharing it with my friends. When more of my friends started to join I just love to share the excitement with them. Although not all my friends have stuck with skiing or snowboarding( My friend Lauren broke her arm while doing this and therefore quit). But nothing will stop my love for this sport. Having my friends, I could enjoy quality time with them...all the inside jokes, food, fun times on the mountains, more food, playful snow fights. So amazing. I can't remember each year as detailed as my friend, Ashley. My memory tends to fail when it comes to specifics but I do remember becoming closer to her.  Spending time in the lodge is great, Ashley and I stayed together. Not jumping back to the slopes instantly was different for me, my usual ski buddy, Emmy always wants to go back on the slopes quickly. But this time I was able to stay with Ash and do something I enjoyed, talking about music. As I said before I love music, It's gotten me through everything I went through and being able to share my interests is so fun to me. I love sharing book series, fanfictions, music, art, youtube videos, anything with Ash. Anyway, you can see how sharing FOB with Ash was an exciting thing for me. And Ash being the little sponge she is absorbed all the shit I gave her eventually, especially with my harassment to watch this and listen to this. But Ski was the place to really start it all. I wish she'd still do it with me but I understand and respect her fears. I lost all feelings of fears, getting hurt is numb to me now but that's a story for a different day. After all, I'm talking about my high here not psychoanalyzing my deep internal motives. Even though I do that too much to be sane, we're all mad here anyway.

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