For Old Times' Sake

Chapter 11

All of you crowded around JJ's desk, bending to peep into your boss' office.
"Who is that eye candy who just walked in there?" Garcia whispered.

"That was Hotch, Pen." you joked, earning snickers from everyone.
"No really, though. I mean did you see his pecs? That dude's game is sta-rong." Derek said.
"Don't worry, it's not better than yours." you patted him on the back, and he chuckled as you snatched a dairy supplement from Spencer's hand, shrugging as he made a face at you.

"Am I interrupting some kind of elaborate Twister formation?" Rossi's voice caused all of you to disband like mice.
Looking highly amused, he looked at all of your sheepish faces.
"Wondering who our guest is, are we?"
You cocked an eyebrow. "You know about that?"
"Maybe, maybe not." he said walking off to his office.
Emily rolled her eyes dramatically.

After a while, Hotch stepped out of his office with the stranger.
"Oh God," Garcia muttered under her breath.
She was right, he was beautiful. Thick chocolate hair, piercing emerald eyes, sharp jawline and a tailored suit on a chiselled body. He looked Asian, perhaps Japanese.
As they came down into the quadrangle, his eyes met with yours, taking your breath away for a second. He really had a captivating stare.

"Everyone, this is Special Agent-in-charge Kojiro from the Facilities and Logistics Services Division. He's here to make sure everything is running smoothly. He will be staying with us for as long as it is required. Although he won't be joining us on our cases outside Quantico, he will be present for all other matters."
Kojiro smiled amicably, extending his hand to everyone, ending with you. But before you could introduce yourself, he spoke up.
"Forgive me, are you Agent Y/N from the Joint Terrorism Task Force?"

You raised your eyebrows in surprise. "Yes, I was, before I joined the B.A.U."
His smile grew wider as he took your hand in his. "What an honour. Back at my unit, we are in awe of your activities. I was especially taken by the way you handled the case in Seattle."
"Oh, yes. The one with the Ricin. Yeah, that was a difficult case."
"I'm sure, but you handled it magnificently."
You smiled, feeling your heart swell at all the praise.
"You know, we only get the really small photos of agents, so I had never really seen you. I had no clue you were so lovely in person."

You could feel your cheeks getting warm as the team suddenly started coughing and clearing their throats. Instinctively looking at Hotch, you were surprised to see his eyebrows drawn together in a frown.  

Suppressing a laugh, you smiled at Kojiro. "Do you need to be shown around?"
"Only if you are the one doing it." he was flirting outright with you now, his handsome face stretched into a grin.
You laughed. "It would be a pleasure."

*At Em's place after work*

"He gave me his number, you know. Kojiro. After we were done with looking around." you said, wanting to get it off of your chest.
"Ooooooooooooooooooo. Did he say why?"
Clearing your throat, you deepened your voice. "If you need anything, I would be happy to serve you. Please, keep my number." 
Laughing at you imitation, she continued. "I'm sure he meant booty calls." She paused. "Would you date him?"
"Probably, if I wasn't in my current situation,"
You rolled around the meatball in your spaghetti, stabbing it with your fork.

"So is that Hotch's heart or Beth's face?" Emily teased, peering in your face from across the dining table.
Scoffing, you dropped the fork. "Hotch keeps asking me why I prefer to lug my stuff from here to there instead of just returning to his place. How is he so clueless?"

Emily laughed. "Aren't all men?"

You shook your head, smiling. "Guess I'll never know."
"Or maybe you will." she smiled mischievously.
"Ugh. Emily," you said disapprovingly.

"Don't 'Emily' me. He's gorgeous, and thinks you are too! Come on, Y/N."
"Em, I really do not want to get into a relationship with someone when I like someone else just to feel good for a while. I'm not going to waste someone's time like that."
"Are you sure he's the waste of time?"
"Yes, because-" you raised your hands in exasperation.
But you didn't continue, knowing full well that your love for Aaron was the actual waste of time as long as it was unrequited.
She raised her eyebrows knowingly. "Exactly my point. Do yourself a favour and call him. You deserve better."
Sighing, you said you would think about it.

Later in bed, you stared at Kojiro's number, debating whether you should call him.

Aaron's face came to your mind, invading your thoughts like it always did.
And then came the other things.

"Why do you call me that?"
"Will you marry me, Haley Brooks?"
 "Oh my God, why did I ever approve your application! You haven't changed one bit."
"She's my girlfriend."
"Er. Y/N. Emily was telling me you needed a place to crash?"
"Great. So, chocolate or maple?"
"You're going to marry her someday."
"All I wanted was to hear you call me Hotch again."
"You look beautiful, Y/N."
"Want a piggy back ride through it?"
"Not that I've finally got you back."
"I love you enough for the both of us."

Tears silently escaped from your eyes into the pillow as you remembered every intense moment you had had with Hotch, your heart breaking to think that he couldn't love you.

He couldn't love you.

Not like you loved him.

'CALLING KOJIRO'