dkla | ᴶᴴˢ × ᴷᴺᴶ

十

ㅡ ❝distance makes the heart grow fonder, said by someone stronger than me.❞

ㅡ

He leaned back against the backrest of his chair as he was staring at the screen of his computer. He let out a quite groan as he felt that annoying, painful pull in his chest, right over his heart, again. He rubbed that spot with his right hand as he was leaning his head back, closing his eyes. He let out a sigh as the feeling slowly subsided. He stayed in that position for some time before he opened his eyes again to stare at the ceiling. He was currently at his studio, working on yet another song for one of those oh so famous singers. He low key started hating to work for that people. They always looked down on him, taking his work for granted. He hated it and he hated them. However, he had to work for them. He didn't really have another choice as he was forced to do so by that stupid contract he had signed. He had actually been quite surprised as that company didn't cut him off as he was gone for weeks without an explanation. Well, they simply knew Namjoon and his work were gold, and would guarantee them a whole lot of money. Namjoon knew they used him, but hey, that way he received the best equipment there was, a really good payment and he could make himself a better name. Not that he cared, but it was a nice side effect to the pain.

He looked back at the screen of his computer, bending his head slightly as he noticed the time. He sighed once more, not really sure if he should head back to his apartment or just spend another night on the couch in his studio. He really wasn't sure, but eventually after a few minutes he decided to just head back to his apartment, knowing his friends would visit him the next day.

He then stood up, shutting everything off, leaving the studio and locking the door. He walked over to the elevator, made it down to the parking lot, to his car and then straight home. As he arrived at home he was actually surprised that Yoongi was waiting in front of his apartment's door. He greeted the older, asking him why he was here and Yoongi responded with a simple shrug. Namjoon was a little worried, not so sure what he should think about his hyung waiting till 3am in the morning for his friend to return. As they made it into the apartment, Namjoon went straight for the kitchen, getting the two of them something to drink. When he returned to the living room he found Yoongi standing in the middle of the room, looking down at the screen of his phone, wearing an expression Namjoon couldn't really decipher. Namjoon made his way over to the older, grabbing his shoulder.

"You alright, hyung?" he asked, watching Yoongi turning around and looking at him. Yoongi then just nodded his head, putting his phone back into his jean's pocket, took a glass out of Namjoon's grip and then sat down onto the couch. Namjoon felt a little awkward. He was used to the older being quite, and grumpy, most of the time, but him being that quite wasn't normal at all. Namjoon sat down as well, looking at his hyung, who was currently looking around.
"I see you kept everything the same way." Yoongi stated after some more minutes. Namjoon then took a look around as well, smiling slightly." He nodded as Yoongi was looking back at him. "Why?" Yoongi then asked and Namjoon shrugged his shoulders.
"Why getting rid of the memories I treasure the most?" Namjoon asked, not really caring about the usual routine after a breakup and the result of it.
"How are you?" Yoongi then asked. Namjoon brought his gaze back to Yoongi, who was looking at him like he was searching for something. Namjoon wasn't able to get why his hyung would be looking at him that way, but he just shrugged it off and didn't pay any mind to it.

"You know the term: 'distance makes the heart grow fonder'?" Namjoon asked in return. Yoongi blinked a few times, obviously not on the same page as Namjoon. Namjoon chuckled.
"Isn't it actually 'absence' instead of 'distance'?" Yoongi then asked. Namjoon thought about it for some time.
"Does it really matter? Absence, Distance, it doesn't matter. The feelings are the same." Namjoon the stated, a little smile playing on his face as he was remembering Hoseok's beautiful smile once again. "You know, ever since Hoseok is gone I didn't start loving him any less, quite the opposite actually. I started loving him even more, and it's just growing further day by day." Namjoon continued, sighing right after. He took a sip from his drink, looking over at Yoongi, who was now obviously fighting with something. Namjoon was sure there was something Yoongi really needed to talk about, but he also knew the older just didn't know how. However, he didn't want to push the older, and so he decided to just go on talking in order to get Yoongi off of his train of thoughts. "My grandfather once said that to me, about one year after my grandmother died. I didn't understand back then, really, I didn't. Now I think I've been acting foolish. If I'd have given a little more thought to it, I'm sure I'd have understood it. Anyways, I do understand now, very good, because now I also know what it feels like." Namjoon continued, thinking back to the day he had asked his grandfather if he was missing his grandmother. His grandfather had looked down at him with a smile on his face, telling him those words before he ruffled his hair and walked out of the house and into the garden in order to take care of the beautiful flowers his wife had planted whilst she was still living.

He and Yoongi sat there in silence for some time, both lost in their own world, partly remembering thing and some made up scenarios of 'what if's.
"Can I sleep here tonight?" Yoongi then suddenly asked out of nowhere and interrupted the silence. Namjoon's gaze shot to the other's face. Now he was able to see the pain in the older's face, the worry in his eyes and also the pain. He then got an idea of what had happened, but he would prefer hearing it from the other before daring to assume anything and talk about it.
"What happened, hyung?" Namjoon finally asked as Yoongi was lost once again. "Jimin?" he then added. Yoongi's gaze snapped up to his, and Namjoon swore he saw tears in the older's eyes for the very first time ever.
"Jimin- he, kinda- cancelled our wedding." Yoongi muttered between heavy breaths. Namjoon could only blink, his heart feeling the pain welling up inside of him as he was able to relate so well. He had never gotten to the point of asking Hoseok to actually merry him, but he loved him just as much as Yoongi loved Jimin, so he could relate. However, he would have never thought this would happen. Yoongi and Jimin had been the epitome of a perfect relationship for him, obviously there was more to it than both of them had let on.
"I'm sorry, hyung. Of course, you can sleep here. Stay as long as you want." Namjoon answered, looking at the older as he was staring down onto his hands, looking at the ring that had belonged to Jimin just hours ago.
"Thanks, Joon." Yoongi quietly stated, getting up from the couch and walking into the bathroom.

For the rest of the night both didn't really continue to speak. Both of them were lost in their own sadness, but they were able to relate. Namjoon, however, kept watching Yoongi, asking himself if he was looking that broken to his friends as well. But, what he knew for sure was that Yoongi's love for Jimin would subside at all, just like Namjoon's for Hoseok.

Absence, Distance indeed made their hearts grow fonder, fonder for the ones they couldn't be with any longer. His grandfather must have been a really strong men, living with a smile on his face even though his beloved wife was gone forever. Namjoon wanted to be like his grandfather.