Stay Away | Eric Coulter [1]

thirty-five

ERIC

I stared at the screen before me, my eyes glued to the numbers that continue to tick in the bottom right corner, watching it flicker to five.

She's been in it for five minutes. Five minutes and only three fears.

Then...it just stops and I hear her gasp before she jerks awake. Dread pools in my stomach as I turn my gaze on her.

This must be some kind of twisted joke the universe is playing on me. After all this time of building my walls up high, never letting myself grow too close to anybody and just when I've found someone who I've ended up falling for, she turns out to be the one thing I've dedicated my life to hunting down.

I knew something was wrong the first time around. I knew. I guess I was just holding onto hope that it wasn't the truth.

Despite the storm raging inside my head, I go to her side because that's how it was when I was around her. It was as if she was a magnet drawing me in and I was helpless against the force of her attraction.

"You feeling okay?" I abandoned my stool completely and choose to stand instead as I lace our fingers together.

"Alright," She swallows, looking a little weary. "Was there another error? I only went through three stimulations."

"There wasn't an error this time, Nessa. You only have three fears." Her eyes dart away from mine and she looks as if she has paled a bit. I hate it. I hate that she's afraid. "How long do you think you were in there for?" I asked the same question as I did before.

"I'd say around thirty minutes. It felt longer than the last time."

I release her hand, clenching my fingers around the armrest of her seat, "You were in there for five minutes and twenty-six seconds." Lowering myself until I'm eye-level with her, I say in a low voice, "Look at me, Nessa."

She takes a deep breath, rolls her shoulders back and then raises her eyes to meet mine.

For the first time since I've met her, I see the fear reflected in her eyes as she looks at me and it kills me a little inside. I've never given her reason to be afraid of me, nor she ever felt the need to be afraid of me, it seems.

I'm not sure what changed, but though she puts on a brave face, I see it in her eyes and the way her shoulders are set. She fears me.

"I'm going to ask you this again, and I need you to be honest with me," I keep my voice steady, though I'm pretty sure I'm breathing heavily as if I'd just gone for a run. "What were your aptitude test results?"

"Dauntless," She doesn't stutter, but her voice wavers a little as she speaks.

"Damn it, Nessa!" I shove away from her chair, running a hand through my hair in frustration. "I can't help you if you keep lying to me!" I lower myself to face her once more, forcing her eyes to meet mine with a hand under her chin. "I want the truth."

Nessa clenches her hands into fists in her lap, digging her nails into her palm so harshly I worry that she'll draw blood. "I suspect you already know." She whispers.

"I want to hear you say it," I urge.

"Inconclusive," She says so softly I almost miss it, "They were inconclusive."

"Divergent," I deduce.

I squeeze my eyes shut, the weight in my chest feeling so heavy it almost makes it hard to breathe.

"Fuck!" I slam my fist into the tray by Nessa's chair, sending the empty syringe, amongst other things that I didn't bother taking note of, cluttering onto the ground.

Nessa jumps at my outburst and I pinch the bridge of my nose, taking a deep breath and forcing myself to calm down.

"You're working for them, aren't you?" She questions, her voice sounding so unsure I curse in my head, "Are they going to kill me?" She pauses for a minute, before she adds, "Are you?"

My eyes snap to her glassy ones and a dull ache spreads in my chest from the sight of it, "You have to, don't you?" The resignation in her eyes makes bile rise in my throat, "If going to kill me-"

"I'm not going to kill you!" I yell, "No one is. Nobody's going to lay a fucking finger on you. I'll do anything to make sure that doesn't happen." I close the distance between us, cupping her cheek, "I would fucking kill every last one of them for you, do you understand me?" I hold her eyes, willing her to understand. "None of those people matter to me. Only you do. And I won't lose you."

I crash my lips into hers and she sighs against me, some of the tension seeping out of her body as she kisses me back.

"What if they find out?" She asks as our lips part.

"They won't," I reassure, but she doesn't seem convinced.

"But if they do?" Nessa mutters.

"Then, we'll do whatever's necessary to stop them," I reply with so much conviction that I shock even myself. "I'll raise fucking hell to keep you safe."

I gather her into my arms, needing to feel her close to me.

As I sat here with her against me, I realised something very important; I would die for her.