Wish Upon A Star

A Hard Day's Night

I brush her hair back from her face as she sleeps on my shoulder on the plane ride back to Memphis. It had been an eye opening weekend. For the first time I felt like Dawn had let down her very tight guards that she seemed to always have up. 

This weekend had been a successful one. I feel closer to her now, I knew there was more to her story than she was letting on to me but I'm convinced that I'll find out one way or another.

I'm not sure if I'm ready to go back to Memphis yet, not really. It had been so nice being away and acting like a real couple with Dawn without fear of what it might look like. I'm not sure how I'm meant to act with Cilla, we barely spoke after the wedding and then I left with Dawn.

This is hurting her too.

I must remember that. It's not like it was the first time I've hurt her but every other time I'd gotten away with it, made it so it wasn't true, but this time I couldn't hide Dawn away like I did with all my other girlfriends. I didn't want to flaunt what Cilla and I had in front of Dawn either, with the baby and all. I want her to feel included. I sit brooding for hours before Red pulls me out of it leaning over the aisle to talk to me.

"Hey E, you been awful quiet man, everythin' alright?" He asks in a hushed tone to not wake up Dawn.

"Yeah man, this whole thing is just a bit of a trip y'know?" I confide in him.

"What the girlfriend, wife livin' in the same house thing?"

"Yeah, it's not right is it? I dunno what I'm doin' if I'm honest."

"Well what do ya want?"

"What do ya mean?"

"Do you want to be a proper family with Cilla or do you wanna be with Dawn?"

I think for a minuet mulling over my reply.

"I want this baby, I do but I wanna be with Dawn. But I don't wanna hurt neither of them. It's like when I was Anita all over again." I sigh and run my hand through Dawn's hair again looking intently at her face.

Her features were soft as she slept, she was stunning. Although when she was awake she was beautiful but her features were always hard in some way, hiding herself from everyone around her. Including me.

"E, you're just gonna have to make it work. If you want the both you're gonna have to try." He says.

I just nod and stroke at Dawn's hair again.

"But," His voice pulls my attention again. "Dawn is a pretty fiery chick, I don't think she'll wait around on the side for longer than she has to."

"I know that man, but how long is too long? That's what I'm worried about. I don't wanna push this too far." I grimace at my words knowing their truth.

"That's somethin' you'll have to figure out with her. Now we got a few more hours left of this long flight, try to get some sleep, eh?" He pops a pill into his mouth and settles back in his seat.

I agree with him as he closes his eyes but I know I can't sleep now. There is too much going through my head and the closer we drew to home the worse it got.

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August 27, 1965, LA

We, as in Elvis, Priscilla and I were in LA for Elvis' filming of Paradise Hawaiian Style. Obviously the MM were all here too and the house was crowded as hell. Today though Elvis had gone to set without me and took the MM with him thank god, giving me some peace and quiet. Priscilla stayed in her room or sat and watched TV in the lounge. I tried to sit and speak to her but she wasn't having any of it, telling me that the situation was weird enough and we didn't need to be friends. I couldn't argue with her much there. I kept myself to myself all day and am now beginning to make myself a cup of tea