Nothing Without You | Eric Coulter [2]

four

    "Oh, my baby girl." My mother approaches me with open arms.

I'm not sure how Tobias got here this quickly, but I was kind of hoping that it would've taken longer than this. I haven't even gotten a chance to fully process the fact that my mother was still alive and now, I'm seeing her.

Yeah, definitely not fucking dead.

I side-step her as she gets close enough to touch me, not really in the mood to hug and make-up when I just found out that she'd lied to me and left me and my brother with our abusive father, never once looking back.

Evelyn's face falls as she sees my cold reaction toward her.

I quickly squash down the flash of guilt that tries to wiggle its way into my chest, reminding myself of what she'd done.

"Congratulations, Mother." Tobias spoke, "You got your war."

"I know you wish there was another way," She says.

I roll my eyes, "There isn't. So, as much as I don't want to be in your presence right now, we're doing this."

"I'm the lesser of two evils, is that it?" She asks, sounding a little hurt.

"I wouldn't go that far to say that," I say, "You know, I believe that there's always a grey area. But I also think there are certain types of evils that aren't redeemable. Take paedophiles for example or anyone who causes harm to people who don't have the ability to defend themselves. The way I see it, that's where you fall under. So, I'd say you owe it to us to do this."

"I'm sorry-"

"Save it," Tobias snaps, "The only thing we need from you is for you to get us through this. That's it."

"I'll make it up to you," She tells us, "I'll make sure this works."

"It better," Tobias says coldly.

Not wanting to look at her for any longer than I need to, I make my way towards the door, slamming it behind me harder than I probably should've.

✧

    I'm sitting in the dining area, sipping my cup of coffee the next morning. I chugged my first cup down and was now on my second. I needed as much caffeine as I could get since I haven't been getting much sleep these days.

After everything that went down, everybody has been a little tense with people still a little fearful, feeling as if the enemy is going to come bursting through the windows at any second.

I haven't been speaking to Tobias much, still a little hurt that he would keep doing as major as our Mom being alive from me.

"Hec, stop playing with it," Lynn chastises her little brother who I've never met until we got to Candor.

"What are they?" Hector asks, playing with the metal cylindrical piece protruding from his skin. "Why won't they come out?"

"We don't know and that's good enough reason for you to stop playing with it!"

Hector raises to his feet, sticking his tongue out at Lynn before he darts off between the rows of tables.

Lynn sighs, "Siblings." She grumbles and I snort.

"Yeah," I agree, "You should've seen Tobias when he was younger. He was a little shit."

Lynn mumbles something about her brother being the same as I turn back to my coffee.

I let my mind wander, trying to distract myself from all the things that are troubling me when I hear Lynn yell out in distress beside me.

"Hector, no!"

Murmurs sound around me and my head snaps up. I follow the gazes of those around me before I finally catch sight of Hector, Christina and Marlene on a ledge a floor below the roof.

I shot up from the bench. I realise that I should do something, but my feet refuse to move and it feels as if I was paralysed by fear.

"We have a message for the Divergents," They say in unison, their voice robotic as they inch closer to the edge. "This is not a negotiation, this is a warning. Traitors Tris Prior and Vanessa Eaton must be surrendered to Erudite or every day, more death will follow."

"V, go!" Tobias's voice cuts through my mind and that was enough to pull me out of my haze.

I force my legs to move and sprint across the room, joining Tobias and Tris in their race to reach the top.

My legs start to ache when I reach the halfway point but I continue to push forward, probably powered on by pure adrenaline alone.

My heartbeat is all I could hear as it pounds away in my ear and the seconds feel as if they're stretching on for an eternity as I start on the last flight of steps.

Finally, I reach the ledge and I immediately throw myself forward as soon as I was close enough.

I watch, as if in slow motion, as Marlene takes another step forward until she's falling over the edge and I reach as far as I possibly could, feeling my fingers graze against hers before they close around...nothing.

My eyes meet Marlene's for just a split second as I peer over the edge helplessly and I swear I saw a flash of fear in her eyes before her body meets the ground with a loud thump.

Everything is still...at least it feels like it is. And all I hear is this strange buzzing in my ear as if there was a gnat that was circling around me that I could hit rid of.

I'm not sure if there were even words that were adequate enough to describe what I was currently feeling as I stared down at my friend's lifeless body and how the blood seeping from her body surrounds her head like a bloody halo. I couldn't tear my gaze away from the horrific scene no matter how hard I tried as if I could Will her to come back to life with just my stare.

I don't even realise that I was holding my breath until hands grip my shoulders, ripping me away from the edge and making me suck in a gasp that fills my burning lungs with much-needed air.

"Shh, it's okay," Tobias's fingers wipe away tears that I didn't even know I had shed, "It's going to be alright."

All at once, every emotion I was feeling hit me like a sledgehammer and I let out a sob, tears blurring my vision until everything around me starts looking like a poorly done painting with muddled colours.

I reach my hand up to my chest, clutching at the material of my shirt there as if that could ease a bit of the overwhelming pain that was threatening to swallow me whole.

It doesn't.

But I guess maybe I deserved it. What's a little suffering as punishment for a life I'd cost?