More than partners?

Merry Christmas *Final*

The smell of crushed pine needle fills my nose as Soul and I finish decorating our Christmas tree. It was rather small, but it worked out well in the end. All kinds of random ornaments cover it, along with a few strings of red tinsel, which was Soul's choice. The star sparkles from the top of the tree, leaning to the right a bit; no matter how hard we tried to straighten it it refused to budge. Our gifts lay underneath the tree's canopy of branches, wrapped with bows on top. Silent Night plays from Soul's old record player, and the smell of baking cookies wafts in from the kitchen. We didn't have a fireplace to hang stockings, so we improvised and used magnets to hang them from our refrigerator. 

Christmas was only a week away, and we were both excited. We had the next week and a half off from school, and we had both promised that we wouldn't take up any missions until after Christmas. Soul pulls out a string of flickering Christmas lights, and with a bit of help from me, we get them strung throughout the kitchen, over cabinets and the stove. And with that, our decorating is done! 

Just as we sit down on the couch to eat our freshly baked cookies, Soul's phone lights up and starts ringing. Picking it up from the coffee table, he looks at the caller ID, grimances, and takes the call, heading towards the kitchen. From the tone of his voice, it's obviously not a pleasant conversation. After a few minutes, Soul hangs up the phone and walks back into the living room, a scowl on his face. 

Wanting to take the mind off of whatever just happened, I smile and hold his hand. "So, when are Tsubaki and Black Star coming over?" They had planned a Christmas party for tonight, but they hadn't had a set time for when it would start. 

He shrugs and pulls her closer to him, burying his head in the crook of my neck. "I don't know, but I'm sure they'll be late." He chuckles, his breath warm against my neck. 

Content with sitting there in his arms, I snuggle closer to him, his hair tickling my cheek. We stay like this until the doorbell rings. Finally stirring, I get up and answer, seeing Black Star and Tsubaki there, bundled up in coats and scarves. I let them in, the cold air blowing in like a storm. 

Tsubaki carries all kinds of food. Cakes, fruit, candies, almost anything you could think of. Setting it down in the kitchen her and Black Star come into the living room. Him and Soul embrace in a manly sort of way before he goes and sits with Tsubaki, putting his arm around her. They had only just started dating a couple weeks ago, but it was so nice seeing them together. It had been a surprise to everyone when Black Star asked her out, but it felt right to everyone, including Tsubaki. 

Changing the record, a medley of Christmas Carols starts to play through the old crackly speakers. Settling back down into Soul's arms, we all talk, catching up on things and sharing stories late into the night. Just as everyone is about to leave, the doorbell rings. Soul gets up to go answer it, the chilly wind finding its way back into the house. 

A few minutes pass, and Soul still hasn't come back. What was taking him so long? Excusing myself, I get up to go check on him. The front door is open, the frosty air billowing in. Stepping out onto the sleet covered steps, I look around for Soul, my breath crystalizing before me. 

"Soul?" I say, squinting my eyes. Where had he gone? 

He was nowhere in sight. A twinge of worry sparks inside me, and I step down the stairs, walking around and calling his name, my concern only growing. A hand on my shoulder brings me back into reality. I turn around to find Tsubaki bundled up in her large overcoat. 

"Maka, is everything okay?" She says, shivering in the biting wind. Looking down I find myself only wearing my shirt, and I feel the cold settle into me, chilling me down to the bone. 

"Soul...I can't find him." I say, my voice trembling. "He came to see who was at the door and he's not here anymore." 

We both search around, and after a while Black Star comes along, telling us to go inside and that he would continue searching. Tsubaki leads me inside, but I can hardly tell that my feet are even moving. I trudge along mindlessly and my mind is only stuck on one thought. He's gone.

Looking at the decorations surrounding me, I wish I could just rip them all down. They shouldn't be so happy and joyful when I was not. I sit down on the couch, staring down at my lap, my thoughts turning dark. 

I hardly notice as Tsubaki puts a blanket around me and rushes around, calling Lord Death and Kid, telling them. My father comes over after a while and consults me, and it's all I can do to not break down into tears. This was too much. It felt like a part of me had died. I know that's cliché but it was truth. Not only are we dating, and not only are we friends, but he's my weapon. We had connected on such a deep level; it physically hurt to be apart. 

The tears slip down my face, turning into a steady stream as sobs wrack my body. I couldn't take it. I needed to find him.

You never realize what you have until it's gone. I realize this, almost a month after Soul's disappearance. I stopped all missions, I stopped going to my classes, and I basically put my life on a standstill, because without Soul it wouldn't be a life worth living. I was determined though, even if it killed me, I would find him. 

A pattern sets in. I'd wake up after a short fitful night of sleep, filled with horrible dreams. Then, I get to work, researching disappearances, trying to figure out where he might be, and doing anything and everything I could do to find him. I sink into this shell, excluding myself from everything. 

Another day passes by, and yet another, and another. I sink further and further, and at this point, who knows if I'll emerge from this. I needed to find Soul, not only to save him, but to save myself.