What If? - Drarry

Chapter Five

"How dare you."

Malfoy visibly winced at the anger in Harry's voice.

"How fucking dare you, Malfoy."

The Guest Room felt too small for the emotions it was containing. It was as though the very walls were shaking with the effort of withstanding the furious energy pushing against them. Harry paced back and forth, not looking at Draco- unable to look at Draco. He clenched his fists at his sides, digging his nails into the soft flesh of his palm in a vain attempt to distract his mind from the pain of what he was feeling.

"I don't know why you asked me here. I don't care what you have to say." He spat. "I mean, I know why you make fun of us sometimes. I hate it, but I know why you have to do it. But what you did at the match," Harry's voice filled with venom as he recalled the events of only a few hours ago, "Do you know how much it hurt me to hear you talk about my dead mother like that? Or about my best friend, who's parents have looked after me like I was their son for four years?"

"I'm sorry, Harry," Malfoy's voice was pained, "I know it was too far, I know there's nothing I can do to take it back. It's just-"

"You really think there's an excuse? Did poor little Malfoy have to do it? Did he have no choice?" Emotions swamped Harry's voice. "YOU BETRAYED ME!" He burst out. "I trusted you and YOU BETRAYED ME!"

"Please stop calling me Malfoy," Draco murmured, his eyes squeezed closed, as though he could block out Harry's anger.

"I'll call you whatever I damn well please, and a Malfoy is all you are to me now." Harry took a deep breath, readying himself for what he was about to say. "I don't want to be with you anymore."

Tears began to roll down Draco's cheek and he made as though to walk over to Harry.

"Please," He pleaded, his voice breaking with emotion, "Please don't do this, Harry, please."

Harry stepped back, away from Draco. "I'm sorry I hit you." He stated, before turning and walking out of the door. He slammed it shut behind him, fighting the urge to run.

Back in the guest room, Draco stared at the door, hearing it slam over and over again in his mind as though it were a broken record.

Harry didn't want him.

Through the numbness in his mind, emotions broke like a tidal wave and drowned him in their inescapable depths. A sob wracked his body and he crumpled in on himself, sinking to the floor as his legs became too weak to hold him up. It was as though the truth was suffocating him.

Harry didn't want him.

0o0oHarry0o0o

In sadness, anger, and pain, there comes a point where it's all too much. The brain shuts down as a defence mechanism and instead of feeling an incredibly strong emotion, it feels nothing.

Harry was completely numb. It was like being in shock. His brain was fuzzy, and he saw his surrounding as though he was watching them on a screen - detached from reality. His legs took him through the halls without him telling them to, up what seemed like miles of stairs and corridors back up to the common room.

"Harry! Where have you been? Ron's gone to bed, but I couldn't sleep. I've been really worried about you! You seemed in a really bad way when you went out," Hermione said all in one go, rushing over to meet him as he walked through the portrait hole. The common room was empty except for them - Harry hadn't realised how late it was until now.

"I've just been out," He said flatly. "Needed to clear my head after the match."

Hermione looked at him suspiciously, her dark eyes piercing straight through his mask. "Something's wrong," She stated, leaving no room for argument. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened," Harry insisted, pushing past her and making towards the stairs to his dorm. Hermione caught his wrist before he could go too far, forcing him to turn back around.

"Please, Hermione," He pleaded, feeling the numbness in his mind begin to ebb away as his emotions fought to get free. "Just let me go,"

Hermione looked at him with her head cocked to the side, as though he were nothing more than a tricky question she was trying to solve. Finally, she just pulled him towards her and hugged him tightly. Harry concentrated on his breathing. Don't think, don't cry, just breathe in and out... He felt a sob rising in his throat and swallowed it down.

"You don't have to tell me anything," Hermione said softly into Harry's shoulder, "But I just want you to know it's okay to cry. I promise you'll feel better if you don't hold it in."

Harry gave a shuddering gasp as the tears finally began to drip down his face, and his whole body shook with sobs as the wall of secrets he had built meticulously broke in an instant as everything came rushing out.

"It's just-" He began, but struggled to complete the sentence as another sob deflated his lungs. "Hermione, please, d- on't h- hate me,"

"I won't hate you, I promise," Hermione reassured him gently. "Just tell me,"

And so, between shaking, gasping sobs, Harry did. He told Hermione everything, and she listened quietly and brilliantly without interruption. When he finally finished, Harry felt as though all the energy in his body had drained out of him. He was too exhausted to cry anymore.

"What do I do now?" he whispered into the silence.

Hermione looked at him, worry etched into her face. "I don't know."