Ashton has always loved his brothers. When he was younger he use to self harm which he has always been public about. When Luke, Calm, and Michael are in the back of the tour bus talking bad about Ashton and he hears them he starts writing in his jou...
Today Luke you were messing around my room and found my journal.I'm glad I stopped you from looking inside. You called me a girl and said only girls write. I should write songs not write in a girly diary. Then you started laughing at me.
I just shrugged it off and went and put it away when you left.
I went on Twitter today. Fans have been noticing how different I have become. I just tell them I am fine.
We got a call from management saying Simon wants to see us. Remember what I was wearing? My hoodie and sunglasses.Not that you noticed did you.
When we got there I sat next to Luke and Simon.Simon told us that fans have been calling in and messaging the websites about me. I just shrugged and sat more into my chair.
"Ashton is fine."Calum and Michael said at the same time.
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"Yeah I mean look at him he is living it up as a rock star."Luke said then Michael started to sing Rock Star by Kid Rock.
I on the other hand just looked at the table. I was so glad I had my sunglasses on. Because my eyes were tearing up. And I just wanted to leave.
Why because I'm sure you are mad the meeting is about me. Again me in their spot light. Me ruining everything. Me the person with no talent.
"Ashton can you pull up your sleeves for me?"Simon asked in a gentle way.
"Why? I am cold. I don't want to. Why not ask them to do it too? You know what screw this I'm leaving I need some air."I said when I got up Simon grabbed me by the wrist. I wanted to scream but just bit my lip.And the worst part is he barely held it.
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"I'm fine please let me go."I said in a softer voice.
"Um I forgot to tell you Simon I got a girl pregnant. But don't worry I handled it I paid her off."Michael said while chewing some gum.
"You what?"Simon yelled letting go of me.I took off without Simon stopping me. Thank you Michael.
When I got back I saw you laughing Michael. Because you were joking with Simon. I hope this changed the whole sleeves thing.
"Now that your back show me your sleeves ."Simon said again.
"Simon I would know if he was doing That!"Calum said. But really Calum you wouldn't.
While walking to the chair I felt a little dizzy but I shrugged it off. I sat next to Michael because he was close to the door. You just looked at me in my eyes Michael but you didn't see inside me. You didn't see my pain because I had my sunglasses on.
"Simon this is a stupid meeting can we go. Ashton is ok just because some fans think he is Cutting doesn't me he is.They are just over exaggerating because now he looks more edgy and his style changed."Luke said. Then you smoked at me and I smiled back.
"Plus he writes in a girly diary now. He loves to write about how his day is going."Luke said.You laughed making the rest of them laugh.
Luke you don't know that you hurt me . You make me feel worthless. You make me self harm more. Your jokes are not jokes they are hurtful.
As I sat listening I sneezed my wrist feeling the pain.I felt alone. Simon he gave up trying to get my sleeves down. And we left just like that.
As we walked to the elevator I felt dizzy again. So I grabbed your shoulder and you held me up. You helped me by holding me up as we walked and staying next to me the whole time while we were in the elevator. As everyone kept saying this was dumb. You Michael you cared just a little.
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That night at the concert I messed up a little bit. When I got off stage I went to the bathroom and self harmed. I forgot my bracelets. I had it wrapped up. A girl with a backstage pass saw me get out of the restroom. She took a picture with me then gave me her bracelets.
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She told me its ok because she won't tell. And that she loved me. She even has a drum set. Which was awesome.
Did anyone ask me who's bracelets I had?Or why I took long in the bathroom? No because
