11 - open

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(dan)

the kiss was everything dan had ever imagined and more. it was exhilarating and reassuring and breathtaking and calming all at once. he wanted phil's lips to be on his forever but eventually, phil pulled away. he reached up and put two fingers over his own mouth as if to control it.

"i'm sorry. i'm really sorry. that was really rude of me. i mean, you probably didn't want that but i just--"

seeing he is visibly regretful, dan quickly speaks up. "no, it's ok, phil. i liked it," he says with a cheeky smile that phil can't help but mentally gush over its adorableness. "it's just..."

phil raises an eyebrow when dan trails off.

"i haven't been kissed in like ten years. i forgot how good it was."

he stops when he sees the pure heartbroken look on phil's face, worried his loneliness might have scared him away again. but phil only removes his fingers from his own lips and instead, he carefully traces dan's jaw before caressing his lips with his thumb. he leans in slowly and dan feels like he's going to burst.

"i don't mind making up for the last ten years." phil comes even closer. "in fact, i'd love to."

"i guess i wouldn't mind either," dan answers before finally closing the distance between them and giving them both the satisfaction they'd desired.

***

they're both on the sofa, dan's head is in phil's lap and the movie they're watching is coming to an end.

"it was good," dan murmurs sleepily.

"too tired for another?" phil asks, feeling slightly more awake than dan.

dan mumbles a confirmation and he's sure most of his words are incoherent. he yawns.

"want some water?"

dan shakes his head again. he feels phil's fingers thread through his hair, lightly pulling on a few of the strands. "phil. i was going to say thank you for accepting my weird abilities and not telling anyone and believing me even though i haven't been able to show you yet. you're the only person in my entire life who's stuck by me like this. you're amazing."

phil laughs, continuing to run his fingers through dan's curls. "i'm not amazing. i just know what it's like not to be accepted and i wouldn't wish that upon anyone."

there is a darkness behind phil's words that dan isn't sure whether or not he was supposed to pick up. he decides to ask anyway. "what happened?"

"nothing major. i was bullied for being such a nerd, you know, because of my photographic memory. by 4 i was reciting dictionaries. by 8 i had memorised all the laws of physics. by 12 i basically had all my qualifications. i get that some people might have found this annoying, but i only realised that when i went into secondary school. my teachers told me to tone it down, after all, i usually outsmarted them all which slightly embarrassed them, so i dumbed myself down. one of my biggest regrets."

"caring too much?" dan offers.

"precisely. i wish now that when someone called me a freak and threw books at me, i actually did something instead of just agreeing."

"you're not a freak," dan reassures. "you're just a genius, with an impressively high iq."

"if only you were there with me," phil comments, staring wistfully out the window. his fingers are still in dan's hair, now almost massaging his scalp.

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