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Carl moves closer and I grab him by his bloody shirt collar.

Our lips crash together and it isn't sweet like the books I've read or disgusting like what I've experienced with men. It's hot and angry.

We don't move slow and loving. We're fierce, angry, sad.

I tug at his hair and he grips my thighs tightly. He struggles to take his shirt off and we break apart to breathe while he does so.

When it's off our lips are connected again. He's not wet and desperate like the men that have forced themselves on me, he's new and pushes through the uncertainty of what we're doing. I, on the other hand know exactly whats going to happen only, this time, it's my choice to do it.

I lift the shirt over my head as Carl doesn't seem willing to do it for me. Once my shirt is off he seems more confident to unbutton my jeans. He fiddles with the button and my hands don't leave his thick hair as he does so.

When the zipper is down I begin yanking the material from my legs and he begins to undo his belt and jeans as well.

Now there's only one piece of clothing on both of us separating our skin. We don't waste any time.

He hovers over me holding his weight on only one hand. The other is back curled around my left thigh. My hands are back tangled in his hair.

I hate what the men did to me. Carl's grip tightens.

I hate that the younger brother I had to protect was bitten. Carl slowly puts more weight on me.

I hate that I had to kill my younger brother. Carl moans through our lips.

I hate that I had to watch my mother cry and scream. Carl inches his hand upwards.

I hate I had to watch my strong father weep for his life. Carl's fingers grip around my underwear.

I hate I had to watch my parents being torn to shreds. Carl tugs the under wear down my legs.

I hate I had to use an old rusty coat hanger to kill another mans child inside of me. I feel Carl begin to yank off his underwear.

I hate so much that Carl obviously loves Enid.

That's when it happens.

Our mouths break apart and we both let out gasps. My hands leave his hair and grip his shoulders. His hand leaves my thigh and he uses it to support his weight over me also.

He crashes his lips back to mine and moves fiercely. I rake my fingers down his back.

"I hate this place," he pants. "So, damn, much."

"Shut up."

We're both panting now. My legs wrap around his waist and he leaves a hot trail of kisses down my neck.

The contact of his lips on my neck makes the situation some how much more personal and I make a sound I've never made before. It just seems to make Carl more determined, he picks up the pace.

The anger begins to be replaced. A buzz fills my body.

Carl continues to sloppily kiss my neck. I can feel a word bubble to my lips. I hold it back.

He suddenly stops moving so fiercely and begins to move slow and hard. I fight the urge to say the word.

The buzzing feeling starts to consume me and all I can hear are the sounds coming from us. The moans that are repeated over and over.

Carl stops kissing my neck and rests his face in the crook of my shoulder. Nearly all of his weight is on me and our sweaty bodies are pressed closely together. He moves once more and heats flushes through my body as the word finally breaks free.

"Carl," I whisper.

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