Checkmate | JB

III.

Three.

✘

↠ November 9: Afternoon ↞

Closed.

I was not too surprised. I was early today. She might not even work tonight, I was rarely in luck to see her here. She was here when I was not. Which wasn't too often. Perhaps she had another job somewhere else, I should have asked last night when I got the chance.

I didn't say much, unfortunately, neither did she. She asked me what my address was and then she drove me there. I remember how her eyes widened as she saw my house, it was like she had never seen anything like it before. I was not too shocked. I had seen that reaction on people before.

My home was not necessarily that big, I have lived in bigger mansions before. I realised recently that I was living off material things and my house was one of them. I thought, since I had a huge house, I could gain more confidence and step up my game in the social world. That was obviously a lie. All my big mansion did, was to make sure I knew how lonely I was.

I could spend hours sitting on my sofa, staring at a blank TV and wish I had friends. Just someone to talk to.

Of course, I said none of that to Bella.

Bella.

Her name frightened me. It was exotic yet had some kind of darkness poured over it. It fit her, I thought about telling her last night. Though, I put no energy into doing so. I'm sure she's heard that a million times before and if I told her, she would have thrown me out of her car thinking I was only there for the sight of her.

She seemed sweet, I don't understand why I kept thinking bad things about her. The negativity had taken over my mind completely and now had me judging people before I even had the courage to speak to them.

I was now standing outside the pub to say hello and thank her for the ride. I was certain I told her so multiple times last night but it gave me an excuse to see her. After all, I was now the only person who knew her name. Maybe she was never that dangerous to talk to, maybe she would like for someone to speak to her more than just alcohol talk.

Perhaps she was like me, lonesome and in strong need of company.

I can not even imagine working at a bar, super late, at night. It must be awful, having to serve drunk men that were crying over a lost girlfriend or job. She had to put up with seeing these people so unhappy every night that I could not understand how she could be happy herself, afterwards.

Don't you become like the ones you spend your time with? I had never seen anyone smile in there yet somehow, she was always wearing a smile on her lips. She was always alone when working and I had never seen another female around here. I wondered if she ever thought about the danger of being so young, beautiful and working so late, in a neighbourhood where women were rarely spotted. Only drunk men came here.

Maybe she was aware of it but liked the thrill. I have heard about people that act that way, they do things they know is dangerous but they only do it because it gives them an excitement. An excitement I haven't felt for years. Maybe I should try out that theory, though, I had nowhere to even start. What could possibly scare me so much that it would give me a thrill? Stealing? Leaking my own sex tape?