Strange- Kurt Cobain

Hunger

Beverly P.o.V *2 Days Later*

I opened my eyes, the sunshine seeping through my window was scorching them. I felt like a vampire. I rolled out of bed, and landed with a thud. I groaned, looking up at my clock. '3:00 pm.' I haven't come out of my room for two whole days. I was living off of alcohol and potato chips. I was out of booze, so I figured I'd take a shower and clean up my room.

Once I got myself freshened up, and out of the gutter I put in a record and started straightening up my room. I made my bed and threw all the trash away. By the time I finished I was pretty pleased with myself. I got changed into a pair of booty shorts with fishnet tights, accompanied by an Alice in Chains tee, I topped it off with my olive green suede cardigan. I had to run by my pot dealers house, which was also my ex Junk dealer, and get some more bud.

I slipped on my beat up black converse, grabbed a 50 and headed downstairs. Kurt and Vicky were making out on the couch.

Kurt opened his eyes while she sucked his face, unaware of my presence, but Kurt saw me. I stumbled to the door, and flipped him off. Before opening and exiting as fast as I could.

I walked through town, it was starting to get cloudy, typical Seattle. I got to thinking, it'd been 7 years since that all happened. I was starting to realize maybe he was sincerely sorry, and maybe he really didn't want to kiss her, and maybe he did love me.

Then I remembered what he had said to me previously, "I never loved you" stuck out the most out of everything he said. My heart just hurt every time I replayed it in my head so I stopped. I looked up and saw that I was in the downtown area, I walked up to the trashy brick apartment complex and went to Melissa's door. I knocked and she answered it, looking stoned as hell, I didn't know of what, hell it could be anything you never knew with her.

"Heyyy girl, come right on in!" She said slowly. There were two people nodded off on her couch, god that made the urge stronger, but I told myself no.

I went with her to her room, "alright I got O.G. Kush and Blue Dream, until next week" she said showing me the jars.

"I'll pay 25$ Blue Dream, and 25$ O.G" I said handing her a 50.

She grinned and got out her scale and baggies. I watched as her burnt fingers placed the buds on the scale and made sure it was exactly right. Once I got what I needed I smoked a blunt with her and then I left, I couldn't be around junkies any longer or I was gonna cave. God, but I wanted some so bad man.

I hurried and walked as fast as I could back home.

******

I walked inside and nobody appeared to be home, I decided I was gonna go upstairs to my room and pack a bowl and chill in the living room. I heard moans coming from my room. "What the fuck?" I whispered, I opened my bedroom door and walked in.

"Are you fucking kidding me?! My room?! MY BED?" I yelled, as Kurt and Vicky were FUCKING on my bed.

Kurt paused, not moving, Vicky looked embarrassed. "I thought you were spending the night at Melissa's?" She said.

"No. I wasn't" I growled.

"Stop being such a bitch Beverly, fuck off, we're busy" Kurt panted, rolling his eyes.

I tried not to let the tears build up, "NO. You fuck off! You're on my bed you piece of shit!" I yelled.

He looked me dead in the eye, and said "Go fuckin' kill yourself" he said.

A tear rolled down my face, and his face softened. I shook my head, disappointed. I walked inside the room and grabbed my purple zip bag from the bottom drawer of my nightstand, not making any eye-contact with Vicky or Kurt. I exited the room. Liz was standing right there, and she looked at me like I was the saddest thing.

"Stop looking at me like that Liz, I ain't a fucking pity case" I snapped, bursting into tears and walking past her.

I heard Liz coming after me. I headed for the door, I couldn't do this anymore, I needed a fix. I wanted it so bad. I was going to get it, there was no stopping me. 

Liz blocked the door, "where are you going Bev?" She asked, tears in her eyes.

"I'm going for a walk, get out of the fucking way" I said trying to not let any more tears fall. "Please."

She hugged me, "please don't do anything stupid, please come home, don't let him ruin you" she begged.

"I love you" I said kissing her cheek and leaving the apartment.

                                      *******

I headed back towards the urban side of town, my eyes burned from tears, and it was starting to sprinkle. I finally reached Melissa's apartment, I banged on the door in case she was nodded off. She answered, "oh shit, did I dream that you already came by?" I shook my head.

"Nah, I came by, but I need something else" I stated. She grinned like the Cheshire cat.

We sat down on her couch, "whatcha want, whatcha need?" She asked leaning into the couch.

"Some China" I said, sighing. She eyed me cautiously, "woah, what happened chick?" She asked.

I told her I'd tell her about it later, she nodded and said that was fair. "How much ya wanting?" She asked.

I handed her 70 bucks, "I'm not getting hooked again man, I just need to have a binge" I told her, trying to convince her not to worry, although I doubt she cared. I was just a customer.

"Alrighty chickadee" she said going to her room. I waited patiently for her to come back, and soon enough she came  back with a nice fat sack of white powder.

"If Liz comes by looking for me, tell her you haven't seen me" I said while I put the bag in my purple zip bag.

"No worries, I got you bitch" she smiled. We said bye and parted ways.

I had to get to a hotel far enough away where they wouldn't look for me. I just needed the night alone. I  walked for a while until I found a beat up Super 8.  I entered the hotel and booked a room for one night.

I entered the room and made sure the door was locked. I went inside the bathroom, locked that door as well. I grabbed a clean syringe, my old spoon and started heating myself up a hit. I sucked the liquid up in the needle, and made sure the vein in my arm was exposed. I stuck the needle in and injected. Within 20 seconds I was hit with pure bliss, I was comfortably numb. I smiled and rolled my head back feeling myself become unaware of anything but the pure happiness around me.

Soon I was consumed by beautiful darkness.