The Sunflower Girl

Sunlight (1)

They say that sometimes the eye of a hurricane is the safest place you can be. And as you watch time, opportunities, dreams and love zip all around you, you can't help but feel a truth in the saying. And it scares you the most that a single movement could pull you out of comfort and rip you apart.

"What you thinking about?" you ask, nudging Taehyungs ribs. "Must be something serious from the look on your face."

Taehyung groans loudly before throwing his head back against the couch pillows. "Nothing." Crossing his arms over his chest, he stares up at the ceiling in complete concentration. Before heaving a sigh and whispering, "I don't know what to do."

You had been having these moments with him lately of complete utter silence. No words, no movement, just two people sitting side by side, thinking. The silence wasn't always comfortable, sometimes it would feel eerie of emotion as if you could feel his feelings swirling in the air around you. He was so transparent to you now, that it almost felt strange to ask what was up, you could feel the tension hitting its peak and you knew he was going to confess.

"Well, just follow your heart then Taehyung." you say, watching his tongue swipe over his bottom lip.

Taehyung drops any semblance of happiness before turning to face you. "And what if my heart is telling me to kiss you right now?"

The words fall out of his mouth so recklessly and so unsurprisingly that you don't blink when you stare back. You almost looked unimpressed, but the feeling seemed so indubitably mutual that you felt as though the moment he presses his lips onto yours, the tension that seemed to accumulate in the house and in your bones would immediately dissipate.

"So what if I let you?" you whisper.

But there is something so unreal about being comfortable and okay with watching but never really having. With seeing these opportunities and never really having the motivation to seek them out because you're happy and because the happiness you feel right now is good enough. Maybe you were better off in the middle of a hurricane, maybe you just weren't equipped to take risks, or maybe ...you just didn't have enough of a reason to consider leaving the safety of your comfort in search for a greater purpose -in search of a greater happiness.

"I-I like you," he stammers, shyly staring at the ground as he scrapes his shoes against the pavement in a nervous feat to avoid your gaze. "I beat up Jimin because he knows that I like you and I swear Y/N, he gets off to my jealousy."

The sun peeks through the clouds as you laugh and your cheeks redden at the combination of Taehyung's stare and the heat of summer. You hated summer. You hated it with a passion. Why Taehyung dragged you out of the house to take a walk didn't make sense to you until this very moment.

You laugh. "Y/N. I like you. I'm admitting it because I know you won't remember. So Y/N, I like you and I have liked you since before I killed your sunflowers," you mock, watching his face pale in cold hard realisation before you erupt in laughter. "I know you do. You should see your face Tae."

He grabs your elbow, his eyes serious and expecting, "Wait, so does that mean you like me back?"

It wasn't strange to think and feel this way, but it was strange that you never actively threw yourself into the flames, into the whirlwind or into the waves of the "what if". But, you are now, and these thoughts, the scattering of little myriad dreams throughout the fields that floated in your skull and coursed through your veins. Made you aware that maybe you aren't as happy as you think you are. That you aren't as okay as you think you might be with staying stagnant and watching "what ifs" fly by. You were becoming ambitious again and greedy for more, you had a sunflower heart, earnest and searching for something more.