Carlee
Walking inside my house I dropped my luggage by the door. Once my hands weren't full I went back out to the mailbox and grabbed all of the junk out of there.
I started looking through it while walking back inside.
"Junk, junk, junk." I tossed all of the envelopes on the table, grabbed my purse and headed upstairs.
A perfect trip was ruined by my dumb ass. How did I let that slip? I started hearing his voice and shit!
I refuse to let this man have a hold on me. Now Keith is pissed and I'm sure he'll never ever get over this. I wasn't even thinking about his ass and his name is what comes out when I'm about to cum!
That's crazy.
Keith probably thinks I'm sleeping with him or something now. He wouldn't even talk to me.
Ugh. I'm going to be single for the rest of my life.
Since my boyfriend is mad at me I guess I'll unpack my things and start dinner.
I wanted to take a nap but then I'll be up all night and I have no one to keep me company since Junior won't be back until tomorrow.
I headed downstairs to grab my stuff. While I was grabbing my suitcase one piece of mail caught my eye. It a professional letterhead on it. I grabbed it and put it under my arm then carried everything upstairs.
Tossing my luggage next my bed, I sat down and opened the envelope and pulled out what was inside. A business card fell on my lap that had handwriting on the back.
Who the hell is Dr. Sanders?
"Christopher is a patient of mine and as apart of his therapy I had him write you a letter. Please read."
Damn, this nigga seeing a shrink? He had to go professional help to stop him from being a no good ass nigga??
Taking a deep breath I unfolded the paper. He wrote a lot of stuff and I was nervous to see what it says.
Carlee,
I know you're probably wondering why you're getting this letter. It's a lot of shit going on in my life so I decided to take some kind of therapy to help me get my life back on track. I know you probably think it's crazy but I mainly did this for you and for our son. At the beginning of our relationship I promised you so much and now look at us. I knew that your heart was already broken before, so I should've been more careful with it. I've been trying to find my reasoning for hurting you but I can't find any other reason besides me being dumb and not realizing what I had. You're an amazing woman Carlee, I don't think I'll ever find another one like you. As bad as I want to come in between what you have going on, I won't because I want you to be happy. After everything you've been through you deserve it. But I want you to know that whatever you need, I'm one call away. No matter what happens between us I'm still willing to jump over the moon and stars for you. You gave me one of the best gifts ever, my son. I swear I'd give up everything just for us to be able to raise him together. But I know that's something that you probably don't want anymore. Every night I still think about the day when you first walked into my office. I've never been around a woman that made my heart race whenever she's around and it's crazy how the same thing still happens. I really wanted to marry you, I wanted us to have more kids, I still wanted to make that move to California. I still want you to be the woman that lets me know when it's time for me to retire. The way your mom told your dad. I'm sure you're tired of all the talking, that's why I'm doing all I can to fix myself. My heart is still yours, there's not a second of the day when I'm not thinking about you and what could've been. Now I have to sit back and watch you be loved by someone else. I deserve to be miserable like this. All the stupid shit that I did and said. Karma is a bitch man. I miss you so much Carlee. I've been trying to convince myself and everybody around me that I'm over you and that I don't want us to be together. But it's crazy how they can all see right through that. I just need one night to hold you one last time, kiss you, make you feel like you're the only girl in the world. I just want to show you that I'm capable of making you happy. But I know that probably will never happen. I love you Carlee and I know you're tired of hearing me say this but I am so so sorry. I know we've tried to sit down and talk things out but I always ruined it. Now that I'm doing better and feeling better, maybe we can try again. I could probably write a million letters to you but I've done enough talking. It's time to show and prove.
