Rivals (Sequel To Pitcher)

Panic

Austin POV

"In case you didn't notice, you and I are dating and my brother currently hasn't talked to me." I decided to leave out the part about our conversation a couple of days ago in the locker room. 

"Eh, he's just being an annoying little brother, my brother used to do that all of the time." 

"Ab, he's never done this to me, we've always been so close. I don't know what I did to upset him so much."

"I wouldn't stress over it, we need to focus on us." She said, placing her hand lightly on my shoulder. 

"I know, I know, it's just weird he's always been my best friend." 

"Sorry, Austin but please be sure to pay attention to the fact that I am actually in the postseason and I am currently my team's ace and half the world was already cheering for me from the second I got drafted. Every single little girl is currently jumping with joy because their hero who just happens to be a 22 year old female pitcher from small town minnesota who also has no clue how to be a hero for gods sake, is in the fucking postseason!" It was one of the first times I had heard her so stressed, frustrated and angry. I had also never seen her so fine with sharing her feelings with her teammates who were surrounding her at that moment. Then it hit me, she had no intent of showing her closest friends all of the pressure she was under. One thing was clear the amount of pressure was not minimal. 

"You ok, Ab?" Cameron asked her, a growing look of concern filling his face. It would make sense he was worried, she is his pitcher after all. He needs to make sure his pitcher's mental health is intact. 

"Yeah um I'm fine. Don't worry about me, really I'm fine." She glanced around anxiously at her teammates. Part of me felt relieved that now her teammates knew. They  now know that Abigail is not actually mentally in tact. Her breakdowns or at least the two I witnessed were so painful to watch and beat me up internally. To see someone you truly love in that much pain is the worst possible thing i can imagine. 

"You sure? Cause you sounded like you really needed that ranting session." Cody made sure to keep his voice chill and calm when he spoke. Odubel gave me a worried glance then went back to focusing on his phone. 

"Babe, I know that your under a lot of pressure right now, maybe you should tell them a little more about it." My hand rubbed her shoulder lightly and yet toughly at the same time. 

"No I shouldn't." She crossed her arms across her chest like a teenager who's parents won't listen to her. 

"Baby, they're your teammates they deserve to know." 

"No they don't!" Abby raised her arm to smack me I shuddered becoming smaller in her presence. The mlbs golden girl was on the verge of crying, you could see it in her eyes. They glistened with tears, tears of distress in eyes filled with  hope. 

"Hey! Hey! Hey, before we start punching each other can someone please teall me what it is that Abby isn't telling us? It seems important." Cameron said as we drove on down the highway. 

"Ugh fine! I have anxiety." Her voice was so muffled I barely even realized she had spoken. My beautiful princess, my ace is seriously hurt on the inside. I felt my heart sink at least 200 feet inside my chest, she had never told me that she had been diagnosed officially with anxiety. 

"Oh." Codys voice fell softly and he went completely silent, deciding to give all of his undivided attention to driving us to our destination. 

"Shit." Cameron looked upset by this, in fact he looked more hurt than poor Abigail. 

"Damn." Odubels Spanish accent suddenly disappeared and it all became to clear.

"Baby?" My voice sounded so hurt and broken, my hand reached out to hers as I took it in mine. She nestled her head on my shoulder, my hand began to lightly brush her hair back and then I pecked her lightly on the lips. 

"So those breakdowns are...?" Memories from her crying to me, the look in her tear stained eyes. She was not fine she needed me, she needed us.

"Panick attacks, yes." There was no denying how ashamed she probably was, she was supposed to be tough, not weak.

"Are you ok?" Odubel asked her quietly, at first I thought she'd say no and lie again. 

"No, no I'm not ok. I'm done with being a hero or a symbol of something. Why do I have to be the hero? I didn't come here to prove anybody wrong, I just came here to play ball. I've been playing that stupid hero part since I was eleven years old and I am done. When it's just me and all y'all or when I'm on that mound I love this game I love it more than anything else in this goddam world. But then they're screaming at me then those little kids call me their hero and the media praises me. Those fans worship me and I just wanna pitch and be in New Orleans but no I can't because I'm apparently a fucking hero. What the hell philadelphia? I'm not a hero I mean I still haven't gotten over the fact that Ryan Howard is my teammate." She began to cry and then odubel and I hugged her. Never has a person looked so loved. It was in that moment that my decision was final, I would marry Abigail smith if it's the last thing I do. 

"Well I hate to ruin the moment but we're here. You good Abby?" Cody mentioned awkwardly, odubel and I slowly released her. 

"Yeah I'm fine, just promise that y'all won't tell anyone about this, that's the last thing I need." Her tone was weak and hurt as though she were hurt or sick. 

"You have our trust princess, we're just glad you told us. If you ever need anyone, we're here." Then I noticed right when Cameron said that that she was in good hands and she was the luckiest pitcher/woman to have teammates who love and care about her so much.