Lizzy Eienstein: First Meal

Chapter 8: Remorse

  Dead, all of them. Each and every last one of them... One by one, they all went. And I have no one but myself to blame. I played a blind fool. I preached of optimism. I pushed her in through the gates of hell. And I left her to burn. And the only thing I have left to me is the simple matter of the fact... She was right.

  "I killed my friends... All of them." I have to whisper it to myself aloud, just to remind me. This is real life. And I'm all that's left.

  Just, just let me take things back a bit. Recently, approximately three hours ago. I received a text from Stacey. Which was weird, because she always told us her phone was off. But that's not even the half of it. The text says it was sent six days ago. The day she disappeared. The only conclusion I'm able to come to is she sent it right before she... died. But her phone kept it in limbo until today. Which is weird. I'm not sure if that's something that normally happens...
  Anyway, it's a video. A fairly disturbing video. In it, she's saying something about an old farm. The one Anna's uncle used too run. I remember it, because Sandra used to always tell me how she wanted to... do things with me... in there. Like I was saying. The video, give it a listen.

  "This is Stacey, Stacey Vancouver. And I've been following the Chinese Hannibal for a while now. Lizzy Eienstein. And no, she's not really Chinese at all. I've followed her to this old farm house. Now that I look at it. It looks like the one Anna's uncle used to own. But I'm not sure. Shit, I have to go. I'll be back asap."

  There the video ends abruptly. For some reason. Stacey wanted us to see this. She wanted us to see where Lizzy took her. But why? Why would she go all the way out there? Then, the more I think about it. The more things begin to make sense. At first, I didn't want to believe it. I wanted to think it as a prank. But Stacey isn't the type to get pleasure in such childish things. And the way she sounded. It's just surreal.

  Then, the more I think about it. The more sense it begins to make. And the less since things begin to make. Could Stacey have been right? Could Victoria have been right? Have I been playing along so blindly? Is my ignorance what got my friends.... murdered? I shiver at the thought.

  I have school today. But my parents let me skip. My best friend has been found dead after all. Ripped to pieces... And it's all my fault. She tried to warn me. And I let her down. I got her killed. God... She's dead, and it's all my fault. I said I'd protect her!! I said, I'll be there for her. But I was wrong... I was always wrong... Someones out there. And they're killing us all. I'm probably going to be next to die. Unless.... Unless I do something...

  I watched the video again. And I suddenly realize what must be done. I have to go to that farm. Whatever's going on. I'll find out what there. I owe it to Victoria, I owe it to Stacey. I owe it to all of my friends. I'm going to find their killer. And I'll make them pay. I'll flip over every stone. I may not been able to protect them. But I won't let your deaths be in vain. I've awaken now. And I'm going to do everything I can. To revive the candle you left behind.

  In the darkness of my lids. I imagine Victoria, Sandra, Anna and Stacey. All passing me a torched candle. The candle of our friendship. Leaving it to me. I'm the only one who can keep it burning. And I won't let them down. Not again.

                                                 ****

  Class is well into session now. Now would be a better time than any. Lying in my bed. I reach up for the melting sky. The world as I know it, is falling apart all around me. And there's no one else left for me to lean on. I am my own person, for better or worse. If I die now. The candle that once burnt so brightly will fade. I'm more than myself. If there is a god, please. Lead my hand to the truth.