f o u r .

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"charlie died" was the first thing my parents said when they got home. the story they told wasn't a lie: we left school, came home and i said i needed to solve some stuff. he wanted to come with me, but i didn't let him, he followed me until he got lost. charlie fell and hit his head somewhere.

it wasn't a murder, they said. mom was sobbing and dad was in shock. my head hurt, i was hurt.

my fault. it was my fault.

i didn't go to school for a week. i didn't say a word until then, didn't eat much and definitely didn't sleep.

it was so hard to stop missing charlie.

all derry was at his funeral. all derry was crying.

i was not.

bill sat next to me. "i'm-im so sorry for your lo-lost-loss." but i didn't answer.

i couldn't think of an answer. my head was not working correctly. words buzzed trough it, so i just simply nodded and weakly smiled.

it hurt to smile, like i was somehow betraying my dead brother. does that make sense?

bill also didn't know what to do or say. he blushed with something in his mind and took my hand in his, so i leaned my head on his shoulder.

i realized why i was there, why all derry was there.

charlie died.

and i finally sobbed.

|-/

OKAY LET ME EXPLAIN: stutter club is settled in a world where georgie denbrough does nOT DIE. i couldn't write something about that kid without crying over it, so i chose to do what i did in this chapter because of that. imagine charlie like georgie.

and may them rest in peace.

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