f i v e .

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when i woke up, my throat hurt. it felt like i had swallowed one thousand arrows.

because of the screams, i think. mom yelled at me "it's your fucking fault! my boy died... because of you, cassie! you did this to him! do you hear me?! YOU!" while dad tried to stop her.

and i screamed so loud that she stopped. she looked at me, with sorrowful eyes. "babygirl, i'm so sor—"

but i screamed again. and again. and once more, so she could feel my pain.

ran to my room. cried myself to sleep.

school was supposed to start. i went upstairs, got what i needed and left. mom was right.

it was my fault.

looking at the big wooden doors, i knew i wasn't ready. there was no way in hell i would be, but i got in still. people looked over at me — even henry bowers seemed low.

i was really a victim, guess.

class was harsh, but no one talked to me. they were pitying the poor girl who lost her little brother — the one they made fun of.

how ironical is that?

"cassidy, i wanted to say i'm very sorry for your loss. i'm here if you ever need to tal—"

my head stopped. words were trembling. i still hadn't spoken and i wasn't ready to, so i just nodded my head to whoever was talking. my hair fell in my eyes as i ignored other students looking at the ground.

"hey, cassie!" beverly marsh ran up to me. "if there's someone bothering you, feel free to sit with me at lunch, okay?" and i nodded again. "what is that? a yes?"

her orbitals met mine and i nodded again, nervous.

i sat with bill at lunch "s-so, are you better?"

well, no. i shrugged my shoulders "i-is th-there even a way tuh-to get b-b-better?" shrugged my shoulders again. the kid sighed.

"i-i wish we had created that clu-club" his hair looked especially nice that day, but he seemed sad while speaking "it would've really hel-helped me."

i felt the urge to say something for real this time, although my head didn't.

the words were messy and i almost threw them up like they did not belong to me.

"y-yeah, i-it woul-d've help-helped charlie tuh-too."

|-/

I THINK EVERYONE SAW THAT COMING!!!!! but if you didn't, well, that's sad. um, yeah... i'm sorry?????

hope y'all liked it. does anyone want a balloon? (spoilers maybe)
CYA

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