Alpha Dominant

☪︎ Chapter One

☪︎ Chapter One: Vivian('s POV).

Published: January 1st, 2019

Status: Unedited

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   My name is Vivian, just Vivian. One of the first steps in forgetting my past, would be to ditch the last name that led to who I wish to forget.

   Besides the point. I'm twenty-three, without a mate, without a family, without a true home. I lead a simple life as a common wolf within my somewhat new pack. That is, if I can get away with referring three years as new.

   The pack couldn't have possibly been better to me. They've accepted me with open arms, endless smiles, and the best of intentions. They wear their hearts on their sleeves, and many have tried helping me overcome what still haunts me, except it's something I can't bare to burden myself by telling.

   While I still hurt, and most nights alone are bad ones, I still smile quite a lot. I have days where I'm happy, elated even, which leave me feeling guilty more often than not. By now most consider me a mystery that they've given up trying to work through. In other eyes, I'm a dark, rainy, unwanted cloud in their pack of sunshine and rainbows.

   Throughout my life I didn't acquire many true friends. But just five years ago, I had considered the many wolves in my presence my best friends. That is what you'd call someone that you'd invested your entire life and secrets in, so was I wrong believing as much?

   Back then I was the sunshine, smiles, and rainbow of my pack, and I was always happy to deliver. Many of the people I chose to spend my time with were higher ranked members of the pack, all who enjoyed my company. But if I ever had one true friend, it would've been the Luna of my old pack, and an omega, Alison was her name. I tried keeping them long forgotten in my past, but this time of year always seemed harder to keep away their memory.

   My life was a dream few could afford. I was ignorant to the hearts residing in the chest of people I'd come to trust with my life. Back then, everything in my life couldn't have been more perfect. As far as I was concerned, I was truly happy.

   Although, it didn't matter now if I wanted to live in blissful ignorance. Fate made it so I was made to see.

   "Disregarding what we've discussed, overall how are you feeling these days?" My gaze slowly glided over to the old woman. She gave me a neutral stare, pushing back her white hair with a frail hand. Her glasses stayed perched on the crooked bridge of her nose, and her lips that hid yellowing teeth were chapped from the cold, so I knew there would be no smiling in this counseling visit.

   "You know the answer to that, Gail. When have my feelings ever changed?" I didn't need to further explain myself, because as the old woman sighed while placing down her clipboard, she cleaned her glasses on her shirt, looking down thoughtfully.

   "I truly think that what you need is closure, Vivian. Regardless to how opposed you are to it, for reasons you refuse to share with me, this could be good for you. Listen to what they have to say, that would do you well. Approach them in a manner they understand." I scoffed at that, crossing my arms as I look away while setting my jaw.

   Approach them in a "manner they understand"? What a sick joke! Granted, the poor old coot doesn't understand why I can't bring myself to see the very people who ruined my life. But if she did, she'd know I would rather gouge out my own eyes if it meant never setting foot in that pack again.

   None of this mattered, none of her words have ever stuck with me before, and they never would. After today I wouldn't be coming back.

   "You know Vivian, darling, there isn't much I can say anymore that you'll possibly go home to ponder on. My last advice to you until our next visit, is to just... do what sets you free."