1; control

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a/n: lower case letters intended. i began writing this out of boredom, but the more I wrote, the more I liked it. dont read if you don't like it I guess. of course, if you do like don't forget to add it to your library and vote. happy reading

swiftly and stealthily, i approached my target from behind, watching it's every little move. with every step i took forward, leaves crunched beneath my feet, but i couldnt give up, not now. the smell of fresh deer blood was too prominent on the tip of my nose to give up. the ears of the deer would crop up with every wrong move, and thats when i would retreat before trying again.

a strong wind focused itself near my area of the woods, and i breathed in heavily, smelling a new, fresh scent. human blood. my newborn, red eyes fluttered in satisfaction as my target shifted from the deer to the fear of a nearby human. after three seconds of identifying where the smell was coming from, to my left, i headed quickly and confidently. seeing my target, looking helpless and bloody, having fallen from a small boulder, i set my eyes on them. waiting to make my presence known. as i reached my foot out i was dragged back onto the floor.

i struggled and made a futile attempt to wriggle out of the strong and daunting hold. i recognised that hold from anywhere, Edward.

"now, now myla. the sole reason we bring you out here is to control your thirst, not worsen it" edward reminded me, for possibly the tenth time today.

"you know, edward. its been months and im still a newborn, im clearly not changing" i proudly stated, but truth is i was terrified, i wanted to be considered 'the good vampire' like the rest of them. but for some odd and frustrating reason - i just couldnt control my thirst for human blood.

Edward sighed and picked himself up from the ground, "i wont give up on you" he offered his hand to pull me up too.

"Carlisle said not to mix business with pleasure didnt he?" i smugly questioned, raising an eyebrow, also raising myself from the ground too, wiping away the excess dirt from edward's all to familiar stealth attack.

he swatted my shoulder playfully, "you know what i mean. only four months left until the big attack, we need you ready, healthy, and in control. Carlisle sees something special in you" he explained, walking away from me "not that i know why. you are quite the handful" he continued and i frowned. i knew he was right. but no way in the deepest depths of hell could i let him know that.

i caught up to him and stared at his pale complexion, crisp golden eyes, his eyes were truly beautiful. i could only hope that one day i would be strong enough to hold such beauty. i wasnt evil, i wanted what was best for edward and his family. they all did me a favour.

three months ago i was human. i was dying, Carlisle being a doctor, and me under his care had formed such a strong bond. my cancer had worsened and though you would expect vampires to have little to no heart - he did. he changed me to rid me of my cancer. to end the suffering. and im eternally grateful, literally.

lost in thought, i tripped over a log and landed in some more dirt, "oh come on" i muttered under my breath.

edward chuckled to himself before lifting me up, "need to be more careful, newborn, some days i wont be here to pick you back up". i shook my head and laughed at him, edward was the first in the family that really accepted me, and took me under his wing as the new vampire. the new addition. other than carlisle of course. and alice, but she was just a little too welcoming.

once we arrived back 'home', home being hidden away in the middle of no where, an overwhelmingly large house with nothing but glass windows, something i would never usually correalte to a home, i was greeted by the rest of the family.

firstly, alice "myla, you're back" she ran up to me and hugged me, only tightening her grip as i tried to make her let go. id been a part of this family for three months now, and every day id return to a back breaking bear hug. and though i couldnt feel the pain, it was still too much to handle. alice is no stranger to company - she'd go insane without the touch of someone.

i looked behind alice and saw carlisle peering down at me, i moved closer to him and nestled my head into his chest, "how did she do, edward? any improvement" he asked and i turned to edward, who just simply shook his head. sometimes, i just wish they would let me speak for myself. but i also realise carlisle just wanted what was best for me.

he looked down into my blood red eyes, and i too, into his crisp golden ones. "we'll get there, a few days indoors will help. feeding you on nothing but the blood of animals" he quickly explained and i nodded. i was open to anything at this point - i just wanted to make them all proud.

esme welcomed me with a motherly hug. i had always considered them my parents, i grew up with none, and they had been there for me. helped me with my suffering.

Rosalie still hadnt warmed to me just yet. i tried talking to her since i was introduced to the family, but with every attempt she would shut me down, and though i didnt understand why, i never asked.

Emmett, just like me, had a hard time controlling the thirst of human blood. but he overcame it, and he now has the eyes i dream of. he was rosalie's husband, the most intimidating of them all. but he was the biggest goof out of them all too.

Jasper was older than most of the Cullen members having fought in the US Civil War at the age of 16. He was Alices partner and had great fighting skills and strength.

i made my way to my bedroom and flopped down on the bed and rolled onto my side, considering its literally impossible to be exhausted for those of my kind, i was pretty exhausted. realising my clothes were still dirty i jumped out of bed to change. i grabbed my record player and pulled out an old disc to listen to whilst i did so.

i delicately unbuttoned my pants and slipped them off, folding them neatly and setting them onto my drawers to be thrown into the wash room later. i then pulled my oversized jumped over my shirt and did the same - leaving me naked, exposed infront of a mirror. i looked at myself up down - i was sickly thin, but that didnt mean i wasnt physically capable of defending myself. my hair was long, down to my hips.

i turned to my side to see edward leaning against the door frame and i jumped at the sight of him. i know his intentions were never bad nor malicious, and he wasnt staring for my body, he was old fashioned, he wasnt like that. he was always trying to 'read my mind'.

"you know, a little privacy isnt that much to ask for" i rolled my eyes and he smiled at himself.

he looked away before entering my room fully and closing my door behind him, "i just cant read you myla. i never know when youre happy, scared, frustrated," he sighed before sitting on the end of the bed, facing the wall as i changed into some fresh clothes "you always look so confident on the exterior, but deep down you must be hurting" he continued.

he wasnt wrong, i always was good at putting on a front.

now fully clothed and not in the mood for company, i stood infront of him with my hands placed on my hips "i guess im just special" i sweetly smiled at him, "but if you dont mind i have a book that i want to delve deep into before we're back out there, controlling my thirst. or at school in this case tomorrow."

he nodded his head and got up, "goodnight, myla" he replied. he brushed his hand with mine before pulling me into a hug, and i stopped breathing, not that it mattered. i loved him, but as carlisle always said when working with a troubled new born like myself, mixing business with pleasure could never end well.

the younger ones of our family, aka all those apart from carlisle and esme, still tried to live a normal life. we still went to school. carlisle wanted nothing more than for us to be happy, and though we cant fully live a normal life, he ensured we had the best we can. i admired and praised his kindness every single day. when you think of vampires, sharp toothed, blood-thirsty monsters are the first things come into mind. nonetheless, our family is the complete opposite - well, apart from me. but i was working on that.

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