2; troubled

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2:00am, and i, simply because i couldnt since i turned, hadnt slept. i longed for the satisfaction of waking up from a slumber, the feeling of being refreshed was very uncommon now.

once dawn arrived i changed once again, nothing special for school, a pair of black skinny jeans and an oversived jumper was all i was used to. i brushed through my thick blonde hair. i then left my bedroom, as prepared as i could be for the day ahead.

i walked into the kitchen to see emmett gulping down what smelt like a crow, "gross, you could do that quieter you know" i teased, punching him on the arm.

he responded by punching my arm back, all the while smiling, and pinning me against the cupboard. behind me i heard Rosalie cough to get his attention, "dont mean to interupt anything but edwards waiting in the car" she flatly stated, clearly annoyed by what she walked in on. not that there was anything going on.

i picked up my bag and rushed out the door and got into the drivers seat next to edward. 5 minutes before arriving at the school, edward began to give me his all-too-familiar pep talk, "remember, if you feel the urges co-" he began but i cut him off short.

"yeah, yeah i get it. ill find you if i need your help, my knight in shining armor" i sarcastically interrupted. once we arrived i hopped out the car and rushed into the tightly packed halls. school when i was human was so much easier, i could hide away in the corner, but now my pale complexion and my relationship with the Cullen's prevented that. not to mention my mysterious 'recovery' from my cancer still shocked people, i couldnt go a day without people bringing it up. reminding me how 'lucky' i was.

urges for human blood were never strong at school, only when someone falls, grazes their knee or whatever. living in forks, a small populated town, helped too. this town was short of sunlight - so we could never really be exposed in our true form. a vampire in sunlight is beautiful, but the cullens beg to differ. if we expose ourselves the volturi will kill us. and thats what we're preparing for - the fall of the volturi.

first class was biology, i sat in my assigned seat, no one sat next to me at that moment. the girl that had been sat there transferred school a few week ago and i had been on my own since. i liked it though, being alone did help. the urges were never as bad.

but of course, to my luck, that was about to change. a new guy walked through the door and i could already smell his fresh scent, i subtly breathed in and made a futile attempt at holding my urge in. he walked over to me and waved his hand in my face - i was clearly staring, but the temptation was becoming impossible to resist.

"sorry, can i sit here?" he asked and gulped, hard. nevertheless i still nodded and uncomfortably shifted in my seat when i did so, "im damian" he stated, looking me in the eyes.

i looked at him and thought about what his blood tasted like and bit down on my lip, before making things too awkward i replied with "myla". i moved my chair as far i possibly could to the side without making it too obvious that i wanted to avoid him. the lesson continued and i was holding back all compulsion to sink my teeth into damian's sweet smelling neck. at last, the bell went.

despite being furthest back in the class, i still ensured on being the first out of the class. i knew damian would have questions, people always do. humans just never give in until they're satisfied. i saw edward in the canteen and headed towards him, and unsatisfied expression on my face. but i couldnt let him know the thirst for blood was present, he would snitch and tell carlisle, i didnt want that. i needed to become independent.

"you look troubled" edward implied, looking down and me, and i furrowed my eyebrows. i couldnt blame my expression on not feeling well, i literally couldnt, but i also couldnt tell him the truth.

i looked up and smiled the fake smile i was good at, both human and vampire, "surrounded by bafoons, thats all" i lied.

as we began moving to find a free table, i spotted damian again, making his way over. i had to think fast because i couldnt have him near me, the only thing i could think of doing was grabbing onto edward, maybe that would scare him away. i clung onto edwards forearm and cuddled into him, and this didnt surprise edward, i did it all the time. even as a vampire i got scared - and edward was the one i always turned to.

glancing back, i realised damian had retreated back to his original table with his friends. i let out a quick sigh before reaching our table and sat down with edward, alice, jasper, emmett and rosalie. "hey, myla, why's he staring?" emmett asked, pointing to damian and i shrugged my shoulder. i guess its the same reason everyone stares these days - the pale freaks that dont talk and keep themselves to themselves. everyone wanted to know why.

"he thinks me and you are a thing" edward laughed and i froze, that hurt. why was he laughing? why was that so unimaginable that he had to laugh? nonetheless, i laughed along, i could never let him know i was hurt. he has this special ability where he can read minds, listen to what people are both thinking and saying, its a blessing for him, not for those around him. but oddly and thankfully, he has never been able to read my mind.

lost in thought, i completely didnt realise that damian had built up the confidence to make his way over, "hi. myla, right?" damian inquired and i nodded. "i was wondering if you want to hit the beach with me and my friends, after school, go...surfing and stuff" he continued and rosalie sniggered.

i didnt want to go, but that didnt matter, because before i could speak rosalie spoke for me "of course she would. she'll be there". and it was too late to argue, i just nodded.

"what the hell are you doing?" jasper whisper-shouted, looking directly at rosalie in the eye, scowling at her. i held my head in my hands as he continued, "we're trying to help her with her compulsion. i dont know what your problem is but you need to get over it. myla is one of us now" he persisted.

emmett didnt hesitate to retaliate, "dont talk to her like that" he threatened and grabbed jasper by the collar. i wouldnt let them fight over me - id caused enough trouble for their family.

i grabbed my things and stormed off outside, thankfully just like any normal day in forks, it was raining with no sight of sun inbound so i didnt have to worry about exposing myself and putting the family in danger once again. i ran into a nearby field and collapsed onto the floor - i felt the earth beneath me, the wet grass, i always found myself wanting to be close to nature. thats just who i was.

i imagined what my life would have been like, had carlisle not turned me, would there be this maracilous recovery a cancer paatient could only dream of? would i still be suffering, wasting away in the bed i was saved? would the cancer have already sucked the life out of me before carlisle even had the chance to? deep in thought, i didnt even notice a figure approaching, the expression on his face told me he didnt have good intentions.

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