I know this is really disappointing but let me hand out a spoiler for this chapter of my life: that human was not at all interested in me.
I did indeed go through the trouble of holding bitter tasting scented candles in my mouth and carrying them to the bathroom to set the mood and learning to operate the switchboard to dim the lights, I actually did all this twice. You see the first time round Beatrice discovered this, but thankfully passed it off as her children's prank.
Hahh, if your children could ever come up with something half as charging you would stop looking that drained.
However I am a very determined cat and I completed my a setup. The husband whose name is Heinrich I now know, after all research on a prospective lover is of utmost necessity.
In fact I think I'll add my current research files here to let you knew exactly how clever I am.
Heinrich entered the bathroom, I sat ready to mate near the bathtub. Then the unthinkable happened: he picked me up and instead of carrying me in he took me out and practically threw me away.
Who wanted that pig anyway? All a part of the plan and success is basically a part of failure... Oops, failure is a part of success, all this romantic nonsense does get me flustered.
Alright, let me just admit it. I have a crush on banal Beatrice's hunched over husband. I shall have him. Bitchy Beatrice has her claws in deep but we all know that cat claws are the sharpest ;)
Heinrich Aurelia Catsynth, that is what Mr. Waldorf shall soon be, but reader this will take me time, effort and a perfect plan and even more time to come up with that plan.
Till then,
Paw-paw and don't ya bow-wow!
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The Empress
HumorHighest Rank: #22 They stole me from my mother, kept me hostage, changed my name, fed me crap, handed me to imbecile children and then they expected me to love them. But when they stole my identity they rendered me incapable of love. This is the st...
