How To Annoy Voldemort

How To Annoy Snape (101 Ways)

1. Learn a charm that gives it's unsuspecting victim a large, fluffy, white rabbit's tail. For a week. Put it to good use.

2. Tell him you've lost your pet werewolf and has he seen it?

3. Scatter rose-petals in front of him wherever he goes.

4. Sneak up behind him and shout 'Your robes are on fire!'

5. Hug him. Say you were on strict instructions from Dumbledore to do it.

6. Learn a charm that makes fabric turn day-glo pink. You know what to do next.

7. Get an owl. Name it after him.

8. shout da da da dum whenever he passes by or enters a room.

9. Shout '10 points from Professor Snape!' at random moments.

10. Replace all Slytherin insignia in his quarters with that of Hufflepuff.

11. Tell loud stories about Neville Longbottom's boggart.

12. Make a voodoo doll of Harry Potter. Push pins into it in class and smile knowingly at Snape.

13. Accidentally call him 'Buzz' every now and again, for no good reason.

14. Become his 'Good-Snape' and 'Bad-Snape'. (Ie. Poke your head over his shoulder and advise him according to which Snape you are. Then switch shoulders and say the opposite. Use a silly voice. )

15. Hide your face with your hands in class. When he approaches remove them and shout 'Peek-a-boo!'

16. Leave him invitations to Sirius Black's 'birthday party at the whomping willow'

17. Squeak softly everytime he says your name during roll-call.

18. Get Hermione to teach you a spell revealing the undergarments of it's subject. Use it at every available oppurtunity.

19. Look terrified and leave the hall ANYTIME he picks up his spoon at mealtimes.

20. 'Need a brush over there Professor?'

21. Follow him closely through the hallways. Imitate his stern look and determined walk. If he turns around, stand still and smile sweetly.

22. Leave copies of Lockhart's biography all around the place.

23. Introduce him with the words "Here is a man who not only has a brilliant mind and a wonderful wit, but can also sing.'

24. Transfigure a jack-in-the box's head to look like him. Wind it up and leave it outside his door. Run like heck.

25. Charm his hair into dreadlocks.

26. Get a hose. Corner him. Spray him down. Run.

27. Doodle things on your potions notes about 'that cute Potter kid'

28. Doodle things on your potions notes about 'that cute Longbottom kid'

29. Offer him tequila.

30. Get a tattoo. One that says 'Sevvie' Insist it has nothing to do with him.

31. Eat chocolate cake in class. Offer to let him lick the plate clean.

32. Every lesson, quote things he said last lesson. Word for word.

33. Transfigure his robes into a Molly-Weasley-esque woollen jumper with a large 'S' on it.

34. Owl him long and detailed accounts of your summer holidays.

35. Dress like him and dye your hair black. Refer to yourself as 'mini-Snape'