IJ Imagines

JM: I Love You

**SELF HARM AND SUICIDAL TRIGGER**

"I can't do this anymore" you cried to yourself. You felt like there was nobody in this world who cares about you enough. You leaned on the kitchen counter wincing at the pain on your wrists and walked to the bathroom. Lifting up your sleeves and looking at the scars. You could never stop cutting, it was a secret you kept from your best friend, Murr. You felt like he didn't care about you. Nobody did. You took a razor and slashed it at your wrist. You did the same to your thighs, tears starting to form at your eyes.

You opened a cabinet in your bathroom and didn't find any of your pills, so you walked out and went to a drawer in your kitchen. You found all types of pills there. You heard a knock at the door but you ignored it. Walking back to the bathroom with mascara tears running down your face and pill containers in your arms, you looked at yourself in the mirror "Last time you'll be looking at yourself Y/N... About time..." You said to yourself. You heard a knock again but proceeded to close the bathroom door.

While in the bathroom, Murr was knocking at your front door to ask you something. You were at the bathroom cutting your arms and legs. You started getting a little dizzy from the loss of blood but you continued to cut a couple more times. Murr on the other hand was waiting and opened the door since it was unlocked. He walked in and called you "Y/N ? Where are you ?" You heard him call but ignored, brushing it off knowing he'll probably leave. You opened a container and took pills from it. You counted 5 and took them. You started crying more. You heard footsteps coming towards the bathroom, so you locked the door. "Y/N are you okay ?" You heard Murr call out. "Yes I'm perfectly fine" liar. "Okay well come out" he said. "No, I'll just be here" Not for long. "Your voice sounds as if you've been crying, something's wrong, let me in Y/N" His voice was stern. You ignored and took more pills.

About 6 minutes passed and Murr was still outside the door trying to convince you to come out. He tried to open the door but it was locked. You barley finished the container and started screaming. You cried. "Y/N what's wrong ?!" "I'm going to fucking kill myself, I can't take this shit anymore ! You can't do anything about it now, it's going to be too late." You felt your self fading away, you were minutes away from death. You heard kicks against the door and him cursing at himself. You laid against the bathtub, cutting a couple more times, crying. This is it. Your last moments in pain. No future, no kids, no friends, no Murr or the other guys. Murr finally kicked the door down and saw you laying against the bathtub, he took the razor away from your hand. He took his phone out and dialed 911. Your breaths were becoming shorter and everything was becoming fuzzy. He had your head against his lap. You could see the tears in his eyes.

"Why would you do this to yourself" He clutched your hand trying to keep you alive. Tears started streaming down his face. You felt yourself slipping away every second. You heard sirens and James yelling at them to come in. "Oh god Y/N stay with me" You saw the paramedics running in with the lift. They carried you up onto it and Murr was right beside you. "I love you James..." You said. You felt your breath getting shorter. "I love you too Y/N" You saw more tears streaming down his face. You looked at the sky and then at him, realizing people do care. You then saw everything getting fuzzy. Everything started getting darker and darker. Your felt like you were getting choked, you couldn't breath that much. "I love you and I always will Y/N" You heard James say. You looked at him on last time and gave him a weak smile. You were finally lifted onto the ambulance. You felt like you were in a dream. You   could barley breathe. You felt yourself getting numb and as if you were falling. Your heart pace was getting faster. Slipping away, feeling numb, with everything getting dark. You were gone.

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A/N

Ahhh ! This was the first sad imagine I've ever wrote. I also deleted the dirty imagine with Q and Murr since it was rushed, I'm currently re-writing it. I also may or may not write a part 2 to this imagine ;)
Anyways tell me what you think about this imagine. Thank you for reading <3
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