Look to the Stars

*First Hang-Out*

   The following weekdays seemed to drag on as normal. Silas and I talk frequently, but not too often so that no one in our class would suspect anything. Not that there is anything. We are only friends.
   On Friday during lunch we begin talking about our plans. "So are you ever going to tell me where we are going? The suspense is killing me." I ask pretending to be annoyed.
   "Nope I refuse to give in. That is the whole point of a date. Impressing the girl to a point where she can't keep her hands to herself."
"Woah there. No one mentioned a date. This is a casual hang out between friends." I answer trying to set his mind straight.
   "By the end of that day I'm sure you will change your mind about that." He says winking as he takes a bite of an apple.
   "Whatever. Trying to change your mind is like trying to count the stars, it's impossible, but I will never stop trying. Just be sure that you pick me up one block away from where I live not in front of my house." I say rolling my eyes.
"No problem. I honestly think you are being a bit paranoid though." He answers with a sigh.
"If you knew my mom you'd understand." I say with a short laugh.
                                    ***
   The next day I prepare for the hang out with my favorite outfit. A peach tank crop top, high-waist shorts, and a grey cardigan. I prove to myself that I am not trying to impress him by wearing no makeup. Well...maybe just a little.
I already told my mom I am going to hang out with my best friend Hannah, so I call out to her that I am leaving as I grab my shoes and tip-toe out the door. Before I can shut it behind me I hear her call me. "Astraea, where are you going?"
"I told you I was hanging out with Hannah." I answer desperate to escape this house.
   "Okay. There are no boys going are there?" She asks, her voice rising in intonation.
   I try to think of a way to say no without lying.    "If Hannah is a boy then yeah." I answer sounding sarcastic. I say goodbye and leave the house running to where he is picking me up.
   My footsteps hesitate when I don't see a car where he said he would be, but I check the time and realize I am a little early, so I go to the park where I can see the spot he will be and I sit on a swing. Then I see him. Not in a car as I suspected, but picking beautiful flowers near the playground. He looks up to see me watching him and his face reddens as he walks towards me holding out the flowers with dirt still falling from their roots. He shakes off the rest of the dirt and hands them to me.
   "You weren't supposed to see that. You see I bought roses yesterday, but when I brought them home my mom thought they were for her because it was her anniversary and..."
    "It's fine these are my favorite flowers, I always came here as a kid, not to play on the playground, but to pick these flowers." I say cutting him off. He seems more nervous than I have seen him. As I look into his eyes, I feel butterflies in my stomach that feel as if they are trying to escape. The light shines just right on his hazel eyes, and I become lost in them.
   I shake off the feeling and angrily tell myself that I can not develop feelings for him. I made a vow to myself that I would be different this year. What if this is what the principal was talking about change in students' lives. But what if this isn't the bad type of change. What if this is the change that will impact your life in a good way. The change that makes you look back doubting that you could have lead a life that marvelous.
   "Are you ready to begin our adventures for today?" He asks with a wild look in his eyes.
   "As I will ever be." I answer walking by his side towards his car.
   "What do you listen to?" He asks as he opens the passenger door for me.
   "A little of everything. I'm not the type to stick to one genre."
   "Well I have some rules for riding in my car." He says pulling out of the spot jerkingly. "First no kissing the driver, it is very distracting." He looks at me with a wink.
    "You won't have to worry about that. Just friends. Remember?"
   "Second the passenger controls the music. There are some old  tapes in the glove compartment or there is an aux cord plugged into the radio. As long as you don't play any girly crap."
"I love all music. I don't play favorites. That includes girly crap. Anyways are you going to tell me where the hell we are going?" I ask.
   "It isn't too far from here you will know in a few minutes." He states looking over to me. "I know you are the smartest kid at our school but  that doesn't mean you need to know everything. Just relax and enjoy the beautiful sun." He puts his hand on my shoulder. At first it seems awkward, but as soon as he pulls it away I wish he would have left it.
   Several minutes later, we arrive at the boardwalk. He gets out and rushes to my side of the car to open my door. He holds it for me and bows as I step out, taking my hand to help me out as if I was a celebrity on the red carpet.
   "Thank you." I say, awkwardly taking his hand and stumble out.
   "So first I was thinking we could grab some dinner then, as long as you aren't too afraid of heights, we can ride the ferris wheel once it is dark to watch the Stars." As he tells me his plans his face lights up and he waits for my reaction.
  "Sounds amazing." I reply with a smile.
                                  ***
We finish an amazing dinner at a petit diner that has been around since the mid '80s and head to the Ferris wheel. As we are walking, his hand lightly brushes mine so I pull it away and put it in my pocket, afraid to move on with this relationship. The rest of the walk is in silence until we board the Ferris wheel. "So how are my date planning skills?" He asks as I board the Ferris wheel.
"Well if this was a date, which it is not," I smile and pause as he takes the seat next to me instead of across. "You are very talented at this. Is this where you take all of your lady friends?" I ask teasingly.
"A player never tells his secrets." He replies with the wink that always takes my breath away.
We move higher and I look up to see the Stars, dazzling in a sea of beautiful lights. I can sense him watching me and I feel his arm pressed against mine. I turn to look at him and he quickly looks away to pretend that he wasn't watching me. "Sorry I just can't take my eyes off of you. You are so beautiful especially when you are talking about, or looking at the stars, something ignites inside of you. I should be looking at the stars but you outshine them far too much to be humanly possible." He says this in a voice unlike his normal teasing way. It is passionate and loving.
What I do next, for the first time, I react before I overthink it: I lean in and gently kiss him. At first he is paralyzed from the shock, but then he kissed me back with a zealousness shared only between a couple in a long standing relationship. Something we were not. As that thought crossed my mind I pulled away and apologized several times.
"Don't apologize. That was incredible. Am I a bad kisser or something." He asks with a sexy smile.
"I'm sorry. I just can't do this right now. I am not ready to be in a relationship, or to fall in love. I'm not the right person for you. You deserve someone who will love you back without being terrified of the outcome." I mutter. My words filling with emotion and ruining the romantic night.
"It's my fault I tried to rush things. You didn't mean that you are just overwhelmed. Let me drive you home and we will call it a night."
***
We ride to my house in silence. The short drive seeming to be hours. I turn on the radio and roll my window down to feel the cold breeze splash against my face. When we arrive, I insist that he drops me off at the park again and he hesitantly approves my request.
I open my door and begin stepping out, but he gently grabs my arm and whispers. "Astraea, look to the Stars and they will guide you in your quest for love. Even if it does not deem me worthy of you, they are not going to lie."
I get out and run to my house without another word or glance back to him.
                                ***
Later that night I follow Silas's advice and look at the beautiful stars as I do every night, but this time it is different. This time I am searching for answers. I search for hours with no luck. As I am about to turn to give up my search, a star falls from it's position in the sky. Tumbling down to this far from perfect earth that we are forced to live in. A sign of an upcoming disaster.