Behind My Mask

Hiding it

Still having a few tears run down his cheeks Mikey hurriedly made his way to his room and shut himself in. He grabbed his pillow and sat on his bed stuffing half of his face in it. He was still crying silent tears and tried wiping them away.

'Why won't they stop coming?' Mikey thought. He tried remembering what Donnie had told him a long time ago. Was it bad to hold it in, or were you supposed to let it all out before it stops? Not feeling like it, Mikey took a deep breath and held it a bit, then let it go but it didn't do a thing.

Mikey decided to try and get so sleep before morning training and lied down hugging his pillow. Being tired from crying and having many dark thoughts swarming through his head, Mikey almost instantly fell asleep.

~~~*~~~

Mikey awoke to the alarm clock on his night stand drumming in his ears.

"Go away..." He muttered burying his head underneath his pillow. His alarm clock didn't seem to listen though and it wasn't long before Mikey couldn't take the sound any longer. Making an annoyed sound he wiped his alarm clock of the nightstand with his left hand making it fall to the ground and stop.

Slowly Mikey lifted himself up. Once standing, he stretched and yawned. It was way too early for his liking. He only had a couple hours of sleep seeing how late he got home yesterday.

Silently he made his way to the kitchen to make breakfast for everyone. He wondered if they ever noticed how he was always up the earliest to cook breakfast for them.

After cooking some basic breakfast with toast and eggs, he put everything on separate plates and put them down. He looked at his own plate. Sure, he was hungry but didn't feel like eating it at all. Somehow, that feeling of a lump in his throat hadn't gone away, still making it a bit harder to breath.

He glanced around to see no one was looking before dumping everything off his plate and into the trash. He sighed before making his way to the dojo to start with some stretches while thinking. Last night repeated in his head and he frowned a bit. Stopping midway in his arm stretches lost in his thoughts he didn't notice the way his brothers entered the dojo.

His brothers were a bit surprised to see their breakfast but not their little brother. Seeing Mikey just staring at the wall with a small frown on his face Raph decided to snap him out of his thoughts.

"Mikey?" Raph said walking up to him and waving his hand in front of Mikey's face. Mikey blinked a couple of times and looked at Raph.

"You okay there up in your own head?" Raph asked a bit annoyed as always. Mikey could've said he was thinking about last night. He could've said he wanted to apologize about it, but decided to go against it. Maybe they'd forget sooner if he didn't mention it again. Instead he grinned and laughed.

"Hi Raphie! What got you so round up?" Mikey said already ducking beforehand as to not get hit by an growling Raph.

'I wonder why he hates that nickname so much...' Mikey thought a bit sad by that fact his brother tried to tackle him, but wouldn't let it show on his face. It was at this point that Master Splinter decided to walk into the dojo and everyone hastily sat down.

"Today, we will do one on one sparring and then meditate. Donatello against Michelangelo, Leonardo against Raphael." He said and everyone got into their positions. Raph was already smiling cheekily at Leo spinning his sai's in his hands. Leo was concentrating and thinking about the forms of attacks. Donnie was strategizing about what he should do with every possible move Mikey would make. And Mikey... Strangely enough Mikey wasn't doing anything. He was staring at his opponent looking concentrated while he was actually already zoned out.