Female ✔️

17. all about jack

Watching the column of his throat bob, I acknowledge my enhanced appreciation of the male body- my male's body. I nearly reach out and stroke the smooth skin but stop myself instead. I focus on the task at hand. Our conversation.

Lighting a blunt, he holds it to my lips and I take a small drag. "Females first." He murmurs, and I lean my head on his strong shoulder, watching the summer surf sets from our special spot. "I want to know, Tana. Before we step further into this."

"Want to know what?" The effects of pot make me sluggish and light, things I normally might reject, but in such a carefree scenario, I'm unbothered.

"If you want me." When he says want, a stream of smoke drawls from his lips, taken in by the air, swallowed by the salt.

I pull my cheek away from his shoulder, gazing into his green eyes and trying to seek out his game. "Are you being funny? You know, I said sorry for taking it a little too far with the peanut butter in your shampoo but this is serious stuff."

"I am being serious, Tana." He rolls his eyes but I can see his happy half of a smirk. The tilt of his lips so perfect, I take a taste.

"So am I, of course I want you."

"But you have to really want me. This is your heat we're talking about. This is us in raw situations... This is nature's course, a Luna given right that isn't mine to take." I think how everything is about the Luna, briefly wondering on other spectrums of belief and how it would feel to wander. How it would feel to be self decided.

"Yes it is." I say against the wind, blatant, cupping the sharp edge of his jaw, running my fingers over the strange divots in the bone. "Because I want it to be. That's all that matters, my word."

Nodding, he kisses my forehead and we lapse into silence, watching the great blue, contemplating different things as my mind wanders back to the shewolves of my old pack. It is not their Luna given right to ride out their heat, it is a male decided opportunity, out of female control. Or so I imagine. There really isn't any sturdy thing for those females to cling to there. The more I think about it, the more nauseas I become. There is nothing for them there. John says it is old tradition, needing to be liberated.

Who will free them? I had asked with a tilt of head, only to be met with a knowing look I haven't comprehended. A wave of memory washes over me from my first time on the training field. I had told him I wanted to be the one. John had given me the same look, nothing about that wolf is shallow or rash, he is truth.

I rub at my eyes to clear the thoughts that pool in such a way my head pounds and my back stings right where the skin is raised by a burn scar.

"Are you nervous?" Tracing patterns on his toned stomach, my gaze meets his winter green one. The irises are dilated in the moment as he watches my movements. Everything about us is natural, built brick by brick by our own hands. We chose our paths together, winding and winding further into this bond we have created. It isn't easy for us, being with someone undestined for you, but it isn't wrong either.

"No." He says with finality. "I'm ready to finally have all of my female." Kissing my temple, I wriggle closer to him. We lapse into silence again.

The Sun reaches long rays down to the distant blue, stretching out for a long rest. Making room for the Luna who controls the Sea.

"I just wish it was under different pretenses. That you wouldn't be in pain and everything was unobstructed." JK whispers into the breeze, the salt catching his words and pulling them far far away.

I don't point out that he says this with his body controlled by a plant you must smoke. Vision glassy as the Ocean's glare, he doesn't realize he has already obstructed himself. I let those words roll over me, deciding not to say anything at all. Suffer in silence.